The Path of the Feather
by Wench of Diablos
Summary: Everyone thought the fairy tale would last, but it all fell apart. Heartbroken, Rinoa runs to the one person who truly understands, only to find bonds don't really break, and destiny can not be denied.
1. Chapter 1

**The Path of the Feather**

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>  
><em>The Heist<em>

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><p><em>I always knew she'd come back to me. Maybe it was the dreams that plagued me night after night, or maybe it was the way I'd always known we weren't finished. After everything, she'd had no reason to ever trust me or even speak to me again, yet she'd come back. And I'd known it all along.<em>

_Three years ago, she arrived on my doorstep an hour before dawn on a Sunday morning. Though I was still in bed, I was wide awake and I heard her soft tap on the door downstairs. It was almost as if she didn't want it to be heard. But I heard it. And I knew she'd come back._

_She was half frozen when I opened the door, wearing only a light jacket that was appropriate for cooler weather in Balamb, but a death sentence in Trabia. How she made it from the small port at the foot of the mountain to my cabin without getting hypothermia was nothing short of a miracle._

_Even in the darkness, I could see the shattered look in her eyes. She crashed into me, throwing her arms around my waist. Her face pressed into my chest and I could feel her shaking from cold and whatever emotion that had driven her here._

_"I had no where else to go," she said._

_"About time you showed up," I said. "I didn't miss you at all."_

_"Meanie," she said. I could hear the smile in her voice._

_Every sin we'd ever committed against the other was forgotten. I'd never stopped caring about her, even when she left me for him. Even when I'd betrayed her, I loved her._

_Though we now share a home, she doesn't love me back. It's not her fault. It's not my fault. And maybe, it doesn't matter that much because she's here, with me. There's a lot to be said for that._

_Even now, I don't know what made her come to me or what happened to make her leave. She won't talk about it, and I won't ask. Whatever it was broke her and she's not the girl I knew back then. Whatever he did to her destroyed her. I tried my best to build her back up, but the cracks still show. I did my best. For better or worse, I did what I thought was right._

_In the end, all that matters is that she's here and that we have a destiny to fulfill together. Right or wrong, we're in this together._

_But, whatever salvation we get will be because of her._

* * *

><p>Squall Leonhart stood at the window of the guest suite in the Palace of Esthar, staring out into the courtyard below. Dawn was but a few hours away, yet he found he couldn't sleep. There were too many thoughts in his head, too many things to think about, and he couldn't seem to organize them into any logical order. He didn't even know why he'd come, except that he'd been invited and had no other ideas about how to use up his mandatory vacation time. The truth was, he hadn't wanted to take any time off, but Cid had all but thrown him out of Garden, insisting that Squall was working too much and needed some distance.<p>

So here he was, in Esthar, and he was supposed to be bonding with his father, a man he hardly knew other than the handful of memories Ellone had showed him nearly four years ago. He'd been here three days and had managed to avoid conversation so far, through no act of his own. Each time Laguna broached the subject, he was called away. It was just as well. Squall had gone this long without knowing, and he was sure he could continue not knowing for the rest of his life. It didn't make much of a difference to him.

It was nice to see Ellone, though. If it was possible, she'd grown even prettier with age, and she was still the same sweet soul he'd grown so attached to as a child. It was so rare he had a chance to see her, and she had a way of easing his tension without even trying.

There was a lot of tension these days, though it was mostly through his own doing. Squall had no life outside of his office. He trained in the mornings, was at his desk by seven and rarely left before ten at night. He didn't even take days off, preferring to work weekends as well. Which is why Cid had pushed him out the door and had forbidden him to return for two weeks. It was making him crazy to be away from the office for even a few days. There was so much to be done...

Down below, in the courtyard, a furtive movement caught his attention and he realized that someone was down there. He could just barely make out a lone figure standing in the shadows, dressed entirely in black. A woman, by the look of it. She stuck to the darkness, skirting the cobblestone in favor of the shelter of the trees.

He watched her make her way slowly from one side of the courtyard to the other. At times she disappeared completely into the darkness, only to reappear for an instant and then vanish again. Someone had trained her well. Had he not known what to look for, she would have been all but invisible to a casual observer. On alert now, Squall slid on a shoulder holster over his T-shirt and slid a .45 caliber handgun into it. While he preferred to wield his blade, times were changing and guns were the way of the future. Even the commander had to admit, a well place round between the eyes of a Geezard was far more effective than hacking it to bits.

He grabbed his blade for good measure and hurried down the hall, where two bodyguards stood watch at the President's bedroom door.

"There's someone down in the courtyard acting suspicious," he told them. "I'm going to take a look."

"Sir," one of them said. "Do you need assistance?"

"Maybe," he said. "It could just be my imagination, but some backup might be a good idea just the same."

"Yes sir."

Squall bypassed the elevator in favor of the stairs and hurried down them two at a time. In less than a minute, he found himself in the courtyard. He, like his quarry, slipped into shadows and waited. Seconds ticked by without any sign of her, and Squall almost convinced himself that he was too late or had imagined the whole thing out of a desperate need to do something other than hang out.

Then, he saw the briefest flash of something move between two trees less than twenty yards away. He withdrew the gun from it's holster and moved slowly along the wall in the same direction he'd seen the movement.

There. There she was, crouched in the darkness, her head bent over something as her hands worked quickly. He couldn't see her face through the long, dark curtain of hair, but he glimpsed a holster much like his own and a simple katana strapped across her back. Silently, he edged closer, and saw her attach something to a crossbow strapped to her arm.

Could it be? No. Not possible.

She lifted the bow and aimed for the roof three stories above and fired. Squall realized then what he was seeing as a large hook sailed upward, attached to a thick nylon cord. With surprising speed, she began to ascend, using her feet against the wall and her arms to pull herself upwards along the length of the cord. Squall broke from the bushes, returned to the door and sprinted up the stairs. When he emerged at the top, he saw her moving at full speed across the roof of the Palace toward the furthest exterior wall. He gave chase, weapon drawn, half hoping it was _her_, and half hoping it wasn't. There was so much left to say. So much he needed to apologize for.

Up ahead, she stumbled, then righted herself with the easy grace of a dancer, but it was enough for Squall to make up some of the distance between them.

"Freeze!" he barked.

She continued to run, and he fired a warning shot into the six foot wall at the edge of the roof. She halted in her tracks and slowly raised her hands. He took in the black leather gloves, so much like his own, and the low-rise leather pants that revealed the smooth plane of her lower back. Long dark hair spilled almost to her waist in glossy tangles the exact same shade he remembered.

He shined his flashlight at her back, taking note of the powerful cut of her arms and shoulders. They were lean and her muscle definition was pronounced but not unattractive. The girl he'd known had been slender, but soft. This one was fine tuned and athletic looking, a look that could have only been perfected through rigorous training.

This could not be the same girl, no matter what his instinct was telling him. Though Rinoa was a far better fighter than she'd believed herself to be, she'd never had the dedication or motivation to remold herself this way. It had never been her way, and she'd never had the desire to be anything but what she was.

As the wind shifted her hair off her shoulders, he could see what looked like a large tattoo on her back, peeking out from beneath the black racerback tank she wore. If he wasn't mistaken, it was a tattoo of wings, inked in solid black, highlighted in gray and white.

Curious. From what Squall could tell, it was nearly identical to the one he'd gotten two years ago on a dare from Irvine. To this day, Squall wasn't sure why he'd done it, or why he'd chosen the one thing that would always remind him of her. He could only hope that through his continued use of GF's, his memory of her might be erased entirely.

"Keep your hands up and turn around," he ordered.

"You sure you want that?"

That voice...he knew it as well as he knew his own. His heart began to pound and he fired another warning shot into the wall. He saw her flinch as chipped concrete sprayed across the ground.

"I said turn around, or I put the next one in your leg."

"You owe me," she said.

"Do it, or I shoot."

Slowly, she turned to face him. He almost didn't recognize her through the heavy black eye makeup and the cold but hostile expression, but there was no longer any doubt. It was the woman who had walked out of his life three years ago. Here, alive, in the flesh. Squall almost crumbled. He almost fell to his knees and begged her for forgiveness.

"You. Owe. Me," she said again.

To make her point, she pushed aside a lock of hair, revealing a scar that mirrored his own. The scar cut sideways from her forehead to the corner of her right eye. To see it now brought on a tidal wave of guilt so powerful, his hold on the gun wavered and his knees went weak. For an instant, he thought he was going to vomit. The scar was his fault. Maybe, by extention, this transformation was his fault too. Whatever she was doing now, he'd driven her to it.

Had he not made the mistake that cost him _her_, would things have been different? In his mind's eye, he could see the past he could have had with her. He could see all the memories they might have made together. The image of her as she was now didn't compute.

"Are you going to catch me and turn me in, Squall?" she asked. "Always the perfect SeeD, aren't you?"

He ignored the snide comment. Mostly because it was true. SeeD was all he had ever been. More than likely, it was all he ever would be.

"Very slowly," he said, "I want you to thrown down your weapons. One at a time."

She let out a humorless chuckle and cocked her head at him. She showed no interest in following this instruction. Her hands remained in the air, and she stared back at him, cold and expressionless. It dawned on him that he was looking back at himself. Her expression mirrored the way others had always precieved him. Cold. Emotionless. Ruthless.

"What are you waiting for, Squall?" she asked. "Pull the trigger. Finish what you started."

"I don't want to hurt you," he said.

It was true. When it came down to it, he didn't think he could pull the trigger. He wished he could see this for what it was. A burglar he'd caught trying to steal from the Palace. If he hadn't known her, he wouldn't have hesitated. There would have been only one warning shot. The second would have taken her out. But, in the end, she still meant more to him than any duty to SeeD ever would. He had been her Knight, and for him, that bond had never entirely gone away.

Why was she here? What was she doing? And what the hell had happened to her? Was this some strange manifestation of her power? What had happened in the time between then and now? Why was she like _this_? He badly wanted to fire all these questions at her.

"Do it, Squall," she said. "Shoot me."

"No."

Her answering smile was cruel. An instant later, she dropped to the ground and rolled to the left, faster than he could track. She'd drawn a gun of her own and trained it on him. The expert way she held it told him she was very comfortable handling firearms. The girl knew how to use one, but had always been more afraid of them than comfortable.

Squall felt as if he'd fallen into some kind of alternate reality. A reality where Rinoa was completely opposite of who she'd been.

But, he wondered, was teenage terrorist to gun toting cat burglar really that much of a stretch? On the surface, it wasn't, but he had known Rinoa. This was not her. This was something else. Some one else's influence. It had to be.

"How about now?" she asked. "Will you shoot me now?"

"Why?" was all he could manage to say.

"Why am I here?" she asked. "Because Laguna had something I needed."

Didn't she know the question encompassed every aspect of their lives and this situation? Why was she here? Why had things gone so wrong? Why was she doing this? Why had she never forgiven him? Why, why, why?

"It would be best if you stay out of this, Squall," she advised. "It doesn't concern you."

"The hell it doesn't," he said. "What happened to you? Why are you like this?"

"I just realized that you were right all along," she said. "You can't depend on anyone but yourself."

Without looking, she aimed her crossbow at the wall behind her, firing two very well placed bolts into the bricks, about a foot apart and staggered on the diagonal. With her eyes on Squall, she slowly rose from her crouch, keeping the gun on him.

It was then that Laguna's personal guard made their appearance on the rooftop. Though Squall was distracted by their entrance only a second, that was all it took for her to make her exit. She sprinted toward the wall, and in a feat of incredible speed and dexterity, used the bolts as footholds to climb the wall. Squall chased her because he knew she had nowhere to go once she reached the top. While she _had_asked him to shoot her, he was pretty sure she wasn't suicidal. He didn't really believe she'd jump.

At the top, she looked down at him, her face in shadows again.

"Do yourself a favor, Squall," she said. "Forget that you saw me here. It's the best thing for both of us."

Then, she jumped.

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><p>AN:

I always wanted to write Rinoa as a badass. :)

I started this around the time that I was working on "I Hate Everything About You," and abandoned it when that story took off into massively huge story line territory. There are about three chapters written and a partial outline, so I have an idea where it was going, though some details need to be ironed out. Obviously, this is going to be a Seifer-Rinoa-Squall type deal, with much confusion and angst and turmoil. What I do have written, I like very much.

Rinoa is pretty OOC in this, and the reasons why will become clear in coming chapters. One thing I've noticed about other stories is that typically, Rinoa is portrayed as weak or needy, which is how she pretty much was in the game. It isn't often we get to see her toughen up or be the strong one, and this story was sort of born out of the idea of giving Rinoa more to do than just be Squall's girlfriend or wife.

I'm posting the prologue and chapter one together, and there may be a second update over the weekend, adding chapter two. Also, expect a couple chapters of "I Hate Everything About You" to be posted soon, too.

Don't forget to review!


	2. Phantoms

**The Path of the Feather**

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>  
><em>Phantoms<em>

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><p><em>Yes. You owe me, Squall. You owe me my innocence. Everything I sacrificed for you, all the time I waited, wondering if you were coming home. Every last shred of my soul. I gave you myself, all of me, and you threw me away. It was a bond that was never supposed to be tested. It wasn't something you could ignore. I guess we both paid the price, didn't we? <em>

_Two years of training got me to where I am now. I fought hard to get here. Harder than I've ever fought in my life. I ran until I couldn't run anymore, so I crawled over the dirt and rocks until I had nothing left. That's how I got over you. I fought. I survived. And I rebuilt myself, bit by bloody bit, tearing apart the weakling that remained and I turned her into something she could have only dreamed of. _

_I can stand on my own now. I'm strong. I can fly. You, you're stuck to the ground. Stuck behind a desk and I'm free._

_You don't even know what that means, do you? Freedom. You think you make your own choices, but you're bound to Garden. They've chained you, bound you, gagged you, made you nothing more than a pawn and a figurehead who slaves over paperwork and budget cuts._

_I wish I could have seen your face when I jumped. It was exhilarating, that freefall. It made me feel so alive…_

_...and I have never felt more alive than I do now._

* * *

><p><em>Two months later...<em>

Squall Leonhart watched the closed circuit monitor for any sign of life. The picture showed the rooftop of the Bank of Esthar, but there wasn't much to see. Spotlights illuminated a small four walled structure in the center of the roof, leaving the rest in darkness. Nothing moved on screen except the occasional shadow of a moth or two flitting in front of one of the spotlights. Wordlessly, he watched these shadows, hoping to see something, anything at all, but hours upon hours of viewing proved futile.

Or maybe, they were chasing a ghost.

If the rumors were true, the individual he sought was a phantom. Across the world, various items of value had been stolen from supposedly maximum security locations, all without detection, even in the most controlled of environments. Only someone who could literally make themselves invisible could have gotten close enough to steal them.

Beyond that, the question remained. Why? The stolen items had no connection to one another as far as he could tell. Even more unusual, not one of them had any resale value, even on the black market. They were too recognizable and too risky to be caught with, nor did they seem to have any practical use.

There were two puzzle pieces that didn't fit. While the majority of the items were of historical or artistic value, two items were out of place among the list of priceless gemstones, ancient Centran artifacts, and arcane weapons.

The first was a computer belonging to the current Dictator of Galbadia, Harold Arachnae, a nephew of the former President, Vinzer Deling. The room from which it had been stolen had been heavily guarded by both manpower and a very high-tech laser alarm system. Not only were there multiple layers of lasers from floor to ceiling, these lasers also changed their pattern every ten seconds. He'd seen the set up with his own eyes and even put his best men to task on attempting to recreate the burglary. None had succeeded. There was no way into that room, and no way out. Yet, it had happened. Some how, some way, someone had found a way in and out without being detected.

The second was the most peculiar. Somehow, they'd managed to get into a safe deposit box belonging to General Carraway, who'd defected from Galbadia to work for Esthar's Ministry of Defense two years after the most recent Sorceress war. Inside that box were more than three hundred unreleased recordings of Julia Heartilly, along with thousands of private family photos, a partially completed manuscript penned by Ms. Heartilly and her wedding band. For twenty years, the man had been sitting on a gold mine, and the world had been none the wiser. Julia Heartilly had only released one album in her short career, and to date, not a single artist had come close to topping sales of that album.

Squall could only imagine what these unknown recordings might be worth, and he couldn't fathom why they'd never been released. Was it that they couldn't compare to "Eyes on Me?" Or the simple fact that he could never bear the idea of hearing them played endlessly on the radio for the next twenty years? Would they remind him of the wife who's career he'd ended too soon by telling her singing was undignified? Or the daughter he hadn't spoken to since...

It had occurred to him that maybe she was responsible for this, but couldn't imagine why. From what he remembered, she had developed into a rather skilled burglar, yet the only connection here was the Heartilly recordings. Besides, in the end, the incident at the Palace of Esthar had come to nothing. Laguna couldn't find a single thing of importance missing, so whatever it had been that she needed was negligible. But what was the point, then? Squall had a feeling he'd never understand what happened that night, or what happened to her.

Still, he couldn't help but feel she was somehow involved. He hadn't mentioned that night to anyone, not even Laguna or Cid. He had done as she asked. He'd tried to forget she'd even been there that night, and in doing so, he was protecting his one and only suspect.

_You owe me._

Hyne, wasn't that the truth? Which is why he had kept her name out of it. Perhaps she would one day come to her senses...

Squall broke off that line of thinking before it could start. He didn't want to think of her. Not now. Not ever again.

Again, the question came to mind. Why? Why these recordings? Or the computer? Or the Katana that had once belonged to the legendary Queen Amalia of Centra? Or the ceremonial Mask of Hyne? Or any of the other seemingly random items they'd taken? Was there even a connection? Or was it just the thrill of the heist? Was their cat burglar just a danger junkie who liked a challenge?

A strange nagging doubt tugged at his thoughts, telling him he was missing something. That there was something so obvious that he'd missed it, but he couldn't put his finger on what it was. Maybe it was something he'd read or seen in the past, some kind of magic he'd only witnessed in time compression...something that he should have been able to recall, but his memories had grown fuzzy due to his continued use GF's.

Even her face was gone from his memory, though it hadn't been so long since he'd last seen her. That, in a way, was a blessing.

Squall pushed these thoughts out of his mind and sighed. He picked up his cup of coffee and took a sip, finding it had grown cold. He put it down, paused his video feed and glanced over at the console behind him, where Quistis sat wearing headphones as she reviewed video recordings from the Bank of Esthar's teller windows. Squall was grateful that Quistis had been assigned to co-pilot this operation. His assistant commander was, thankfully, nearly as taciturn as he was, and just as focused.

He watched as she paused and rewound the tape. She leaned toward the screen upon playback, peering at it with interest, though Squall saw little out of the ordinary. It was just a tape of customers coming and going, from the teller's counter to the door. Something must have tipped her off, though, for she rewound it and watched it again. This time, she cocked her head and placed her finger on the screen, froze it and stared.

Squall got up and stood behind her, trying to figure out what she found so interesting. Slowly, he leaned forward, causing Quistis to jump when she realized he was there. She slid the headphones down around her neck and looked up at him without a word.

"Is that...?" he wondered aloud as he understood what had caught her attention.

"Could be," she agreed. "If it is, this whole thing makes a bit more sense, doesn't it?"

Squall crossed his arms and stared at the face of a man he wished he could have forgotten a long time ago. How ironic was it that _his_ face was so clear in his mind, when the face of the one he'd loved was all but gone, save a few vague details? Perhaps it was because he'd packed away all the pictures he'd had of her, while this man's face occasionally appeared on the news. It wasn't as if he'd done anything worthy of reporting since then, just that somehow, the terrible things that happened were nearly always compared to the war. In mentioning the war, the newscasters never failed to show photos of the man responsible for leading the attacks. They also never failed to mention Squall Leonhart.  
><em><br>"This is the worst tragedy since the bombing of Trabia four years ago, during the Second Sorceress War, a heinous act of aggression perpetrated by Seifer Almasy in attempt to achieve Time Compression. As everyone should remember, a second bombing was bravely averted by Commander Squall Leonhart of Balamb Garden..."_

Squall wondered how long the news would continue to use their names to rake in the ratings. He figured, after four years, they'd move on, but they never did.

"What do you mean it makes sense?" Squall asked.

"I can think of two reasons he'd steal those recordings," Quistis said.

"Money?"

"That's one."

"What's the other?"

Quistis' eyes flashed with sympathy as she looked up at him.

"Do I have to say it out loud?" she asked.

Squall stared back at her, needing to hear her say it, while at the same time, hoping she'd say anything but what he knew was coming.

"Maybe he did it for _her_."

* * *

><p>Seifer Almasy kicked his boots against the side of the cabin, dislodging chunks of ice and packed snow. There would be absolute hell to pay if he tracked it inside, and he was in no mood to have his shins mangled by an angry, monosyllabic cyclops. Fujin valued cleanliness, even in a cabin that she was under no obligation to keep clean. He dropped his sack into the snow beside the porch, as this was the best place to keep the three freshly killed rabbits inside it from spoiling. Once he was sure his boots would pass inspection, he slipped his key in the door and went inside. The warmth in the foyer enveloped him as he shut the door against the cold of the Trabian mountains beyond. In the hearth, the fire was going and the cabin smelled like pine cleaner and freshly baked bread.<p>

It smelled like the home he'd always imagined as a boy, but never had the chance to have. Now, Seifer felt a pang of homesickness for something that had never been his.

He pushed these thoughts out of his mind as he kicked off his boots and shrugged out of his parka. He silently cursed to himself as chunks of snow fell from his cap onto the clean wooden floor. He used his sock clad foot to wipe up the rapidly melting snow, and glanced toward the kitchen, hoping that Fujin hadn't seen. The last thing he needed right now was to face Fujin's wrath. He had far bigger things to worry about than a few drops of water on the floor.

From the second floor of the cabin, he heard strains of an unfamiliar tune and smiled sadly to himself. If he'd known those old recordings would keep her locked up in her room for days, he would never have agreed to it. He hadn't figured it would have this kind of impact on her. She was not the girl she'd been when they'd first met, but who would have known someone so lethal and so cold could be undone by the songs of a long dead lounge singer?

Either way, she needed to snap out of it, and soon. They had work to do, and they couldn't proceed without her. He wasn't even sure what it was they were doing anymore, or why. Seifer was starting to wonder if he'd truly lost his mind. To gamble his future on what amounted to a reoccurring dream was nuts. Except, he knew it was no dream but a vision of the future, and it came every single night. He had to follow through. He had to finish it.

But maybe, this mission wasn't worth the risk. That was something he almost never admitted, but it was true in this case. The odds were too great, and the pay off might turn out to be negligible. Not to mention, if they were caught before they achieved their goal, then there would be no second chances.

Everything was riding on their success. Though none of them understood what exactly they were after, his friends were behind him all the way. They didn't doubt him, or his motives. He wished he could say the same.

Seifer entered the kitchen, where Rajin was just taking a loaf cheese and herb encrusted bread from the oven. The scent wafted through the room, and his stomach growled. Back in the days when he'd been a student at Balamb, he never would have imagined that Rajin had any talent for cooking, and furthermore, would have mocked him endlessly if he had shown the slightest interest in the culinary arts. These days, he was thankful for his friend's skill with food. If not for him, they would have long ago starved to death.

"Yo, you're back," Rajin said, stating the obvious.

"Dinner's on the porch," Seifer said. "Hope you've got a recipe for rabbit drumsticks."

"I dunno," Rajin mused. "I was thinking maybe a stew, ya know?"

"Whatever," Seifer said, "I'm not skinning them. That's all you."

"I don't think I can," Rajin said honestly. "Those cute little bunny faces, ya know?"

Seifer rolled his eyes. Rajin may have looked like a giant, dangerous brute, but at heart, he was a big softy. In fact, he was, and always had been a pacifist. Though Rajin was no stranger to brawling, he'd never started a fight, and only fought when there was no other choice. If Rajin had been allowed to live his own way, he probably would have moved into some hippie commune where they sang songs about peace, love and the ultimate freedom of total nudity, refused to eat meat and worshiped some kind of obscure earth deity.

"I just spent three hours out in the freezing cold catching them. I've done my part to keep our dysfunctional little family nourished," he said. "Some one else can do it."

"I'm cooking them, ya know?"

They looked at one another.

"Fujin," they said at the same time.

Upstairs there was a thump. A second later, the sound of blues piano drifted down the stairs, accompanied by a husky, mournful voice. Seifer shook his head and let out a heavy sigh.

"Has she come out at all?"

"Nope," Rajin said. "Tried to get her to eat something, ya know? But she wouldn't even unlock the door. I'm kinda worried."

"You and me both," Seifer muttered under his breath.

* * *

><p>Quistis had learned a long time ago not to say Rinoa's name out loud in front of Squall. She didn't pretend to understand what had gone wrong in their relationship, or the how or why it ended. All she knew was that one day, things between them were good, and the next, Rinoa was gone without so much as a goodbye or a word of explanation. After that day, Squall had pretended the Sorceress never existed. All the progress he'd made toward becoming a whole person had all but vanished in the years since. Quistis couldn't help but hate Rinoa a little for it, even if she didn't know the reasons she'd left. For all Quistis knew, Squall may have deserved it. He could be difficult, and maybe, after a year of really trying to draw him out and only achieving minor success, Rinoa had given up. It wasn't fair to blame Rinoa when Quistis didn't know the whole story, but Squall had turned into an empty shell. He showed no empathy, no sense of humor, no joy at all. He was the job and nothing more.<p>

It had hurt Quistis to watch him backslide into his loner persona, but there was nothing she could do to help. She'd tried in her own way to bring him back around, but it was no use. They all had. Then, slowly, one by one, they drifted away, forming a smaller sub-unit of four, all the while missing those joyful days following their return from time compression.

What was worse, no one had heard from Rinoa since the day she'd left. Not one single phone call or letter or e-mail. Quistis had never said it aloud, but she feared the worst. Rinoa may have cut Squall off, but the girl she'd known would have stayed in touch, even if Squall had wounded her deeply. Their journey together had forged an almost sister-like bond among the three women, and Rinoa had once declared the six of them her 'real' family. The Rinoa Quistis had known would never have turned her back on them.

"Maybe he stole them for _her_, Squall," Quistis said again. "Carraway told us that only two people knew what was in that box. Himself and Rinoa."

The look of hurt that crossed Squall's face then was one of such intense pain, Quistis regretted letting the name slip. So, he _did_feel something after all. Knowing that he could still experience emotions gave Quistis some small measure of hope. Hyne, he was good at hiding it, but it was clear, whatever had happened had wounded him so deeply, he'd cut himself off from actually living.

For the first time since she was a teenager, Quistis wished she could pull him into her arms and hold him. Her romantic notions had long ago faded, but time had never erased the sisterly affection she felt. In every way but blood, they _were_family.

"Squall, I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean-"

He held up a hand and shook his head. His face was stony and his eyes devoid of any emotion Quistis understood.

"There's no proof," he said.

What he was saying, without saying it, was that he didn't believe Rinoa would have ever run to Seifer. Not after the way Seifer had betrayed her. Maybe he was right, but Quistis found it very suspicious that Seifer was in the bank lobby the same day the recordings were stolen. Quistis didn't believe in coincidence.

"Maybe it's his way of asking her forgiveness," Quistis suggested.

"I need facts, not theories."

"Seifer was there, in the bank where her mother's songs were stored," Quistis said. "How can you deny the possibility that she's involved? Who else knew about it but her?"

"Quistis, I know she's not involved."

"How do you know?"

Squall looked away from the monitor and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Squall?"

"I don't want to talk about this."

Typical. He wouldn't even allow for the possibility that she was involved, because it was _her_. Suspecting her of being involved would mean he would have to stop denying that he'd ever known her.

"You have to talk about it sometime," Quistis said softly. "Don't you think three years is long enough?"

"A hundred years will never be long enough."

They sat in silence for what seemed an eternity. Quistis stared at the figure on the frozen screen, taking in the features she'd known since childhood. There was no doubt in her mind that Rinoa was related to this. It was just a matter of convincing Squall of that fact. Or getting him to acknowledge that she even existed.

"Squall-"

"Drop it."

She sighed and hit play on the console, watching Seifer walk into the lobby, confident and cool, as if he owned the place. His behavior wasn't suspicious, exactly, but Quistis thought that maybe, that's why it _was_suspicious. Seifer had always been at his most confident when he was up to something.

She continued watching the video but didn't replace the headset. Though the feed had audio, the sound quality was poor and was pretty much limited to perfunctory greetings. She was aware that Squall was still behind her, though she didn't know if he'd turned back around or if he was still staring sullenly at the wall. On the video, Seifer walked to the greeter's podium, and Quistis replaced her headset.

_"I'd like some information about getting a safe deposit box,"_he said.

"_Sure,_" the greeter said, handing him a sheet of paper. "_These are our rates, based on the size of the box. Go ahead and look them over while I get one of our representatives to answer any other questions you may have. Please, have a seat while you wait."  
><em>  
>Seifer thanked the woman, flashing a toothy and charming smile. Typical Seifer. Always the charmer, especially when he was doing bad.<p>

The lobby door opened and a woman entered, wearing a knee length black trench coat over a short sapphire blue dress, big sun glasses and a pair of to-die-for kitten heels. Her long, dark hair fell in waves down past her shoulder blades and it made it impossible to get a good look at her face as she passed the camera. Quistis almost looked away to check on Squall, but there was something about this one that made Quistis continue watching. As the woman walked past Seifer, she dropped a slip of paper on the ground near his chair and headed for the teller's counter.

On screen, Seifer didn't move to pick it up, nor did he call out to the woman to alert her to the fact that she'd dropped something. After a moment, Seifer eased himself out of his casual slump, reached down and picked it up. He didn't look at it, merely slid it underneath the information sheet he'd been pretending to read. A few moments later, Quistis heard the dark haired woman say, _"I must have left my wallet in the cab. All my account information is in it."_

Quistis froze. If she wasn't mistaken, she knew that voice. Even with the poor sound quality, Quistis recognized it. Every hair on her arms stood up and she sucked in a deep breath, watching the screen with rapt attention.

The woman left the teller and headed back to the doors. When the greeter told her to have a good day, the woman's hand came up to clasp something around her neck and she favored the greeter with a gentle smile. If Quistis hadn't recognized the voice, she certainly recognized the nervous gesture and the smile. Even with the huge sunglasses, Quistis knew that smile. She hit pause on the feed and turned back to Squall, who had returned to his own console and was staring intently at the screen before him.

Secretly, Quistis had hoped her theory was wrong. She truly hoped that her friend was innocent of these crimes, but here was all the evidence she needed to prove that somehow, some way, she _was_connected to them. Even if she hadn't committed the acts herself, she was connected. Still, Quistis needed some confirmation that she wasn't seeing what she wanted to see in the video just because she missed Rinoa.

And, if this truly was Rinoa, then things were about to get ugly. Not only did it mean they would have to go after someone who she still considered a friend, even after three years without contact, it also meant that Squall was going to have to face everything he'd denied since then. Worse, the outcome of this couldn't be good. For any of them.

"Squall?" Quistis asked.

He turned slightly in his chair but didn't face her.

"What?"

"You wanted proof that my theory was correct?"

"Don't start with that again."

"Turn around and look, Squall. I have all the proof you need."

* * *

><p>AN: I was going to hold off on posting a second chapter till tomorrow night, but it looks like the next shot I'll get at a computer will be late next week.

You know, I don't know anymore what was going through my head when I wrote that passage at the beginning, but boy, is Rinoa bitter. Keep in mind, the first three chapters of this are fairly old. That said, I haven't had to do much revising on the first two. They're pretty much the same as when I first wrote them...two years ago? But, yeah. Bitter.

In terms of what I plan to do for the pairing...I don't know yet. I do know that there were hints in my outline about challenging a certain theory about Rinoa, and again, I don't know if that's where I was going. I do know that I'll probably have to change the rating at some point for violence, nookie, and language.

Don't forget to review!


	3. The First Cut

**The Path of the Feather**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

_The First Cut_

* * *

><p><em>When Rinoa showed up on my doorstep that morning, half frozen and exhausted, I took her inside and she nearly collapsed in my arms. I carried her up the stairs and she was asleep by the time I put her in bed. In the darkness, I lay down beside her, feeling the chill of her skin against mine, amazed that she'd come to me after all this time. <em>

_I saw the wound on her forehead after the sun came up. I could tell it was recent. The skin under her right eye was badly bruised and the cut itself was still raised and had only just begun to knit closed. Why she hadn't used a curative, I didn't know. There was also a hand print shaped bruise on her left arm, and it was too big to belong to anyone but a man. Two of her fingernails were broken off at the quick, and there were abrasions on her knees._

"_Did he do this to you?" I asked later, after she'd woken up._

_She looked away and refused to answer. She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around herself, staring at the wall with a blank expression on her face. That told me everything I needed to know. _

_Someday, I was going to make him pay. _

* * *

><p>"Rinoa, open the fucking door!"<p>

Seifer had been banging on it for ten minutes, and Rinoa had decided to just ignore him till he went away. Usually, if she didn't want to be bothered, he'd eventually leave, but he continued to pound on the door, getting angrier by the minute. Typically, his threats amounted to nothing, but his tone and persistence told her tonight would be different.

"Come on, Rinoa. I'm not messing around," he said. "Thirty seconds and then I'm kicking the door in."

With a sigh, Rinoa got up, turned down the music and unlocked the door. As Seifer peered in, wisely choosing caution over bravado, Rinoa returned to her place on the floor and stared down at the pictures of her childhood, which were spread across the floor in chronological order, from birth till age fourteen.

There was a marked decline in the amount of photos of herself after her mother's death. Up until that point in her life, there were hundreds of herself as an infant, toddler and preschooler. After that, it appeared the rest were either school photos or had been taken by her grandparents. There wasn't a single photo of herself with her father after age ten. It wasn't a shocker, but it still hurt to see.

Even more upsetting than that was the quality of her mother's recordings. _Eyes on Me_ had been a pop sensation, and it's appeal had never really been lost. Even now, radio stations across the world still played it at least once a day, if not more. These other recordings, the ones Rinoa had never heard were beyond phenomenal. Unlike_ Eyes on Me_, there was something haunting about them. Here was her mother, baring her soul in song, telling the story of a woman in love with a soldier who never returned from the war. A woman who settled for the next best thing, only to find out it had been a mistake. Rinoa felt like she could relate in her own way.

Laguna had inspired her, and Carraway had stifled her. Even without having to say it, the piano riffs would have told the story. Gone was the pop sound, leaving only the stripped down remains of what could have been. Rinoa had never heard anything so beautiful or sad in her life.

How could her father have hidden this from the world? How could he have denied her future or her career? Was he that incapable of hearing the brilliance in these works? Or was he was afraid the truth would come out? That their whole marriage was a sham and that she'd never loved him like she'd loved that young soldier who'd given her the courage to put words to her songs? Rinoa was betting that was the truth of it. Carraway couldn't bear the idea of the world knowing where Julia's heart belonged.

Now Carraway wanted them back, but not because of any sentimental value they held for him. He wanted them simply because it would hurt his image.

Rinoa had a plan to take care of that. From now on, she would release a song a week on the internet, available for free download, for the whole, wide world to hear. And she would use Dictator Arachnae's stolen computer to do it. That way, the true source couldn't be traced. If somehow it was, then it would appear to have come from the Dictator's own offices.

It wasn't simply out of revenge, either. Rinoa believed that she owed it to her mother to make sure the world heard those songs.

Presently, Seifer stood over her, looking down at her with obvious concern.

"What's the deal?" Seifer asked. "You've been in here three days."

"I'm aware of that," Rinoa said.

She reached under the bed and retrieved a bottle of Mimmet, uncapped it and took a long swallow. Seifer stared at her in disbelief.

"You having a meltdown, or what?"

Rinoa let out a bitter laugh and gestured at the photos on the floor.

Seifer sat down beside her and let out a heavy sigh. He reached over and squeezed her knee gently. For the thousandth time, Rinoa was struck by the differences between Seifer and Squall. Squall would not have been able to look at the photos and understand immediately what she meant, nor would he have been able to figure out why it mattered. Seifer got it. With one look, he got it without having to explain.

"I know I need to move on," Rinoa admitted. "I just needed some time. To say goodbye."

"Okay," Seifer said. "But you know we leave for Dollet tomorrow afternoon. I need you on top of your game and sane, not wallowing or distracted."

"I'll be ready," she said.

"I'm not joking around, Rin. We can't afford to get off track here."

"I said I'll be ready," Rinoa snapped.

Seifer let out another sigh and looked at her, his eyes searching her face. It surprised her every time he showed the less obnoxious side of himself. This was the Seifer Almasy the world didn't know. His fearless, cocky attitude hid his true nature. Deep down, he was capable of kindness and understanding, and for that Rinoa would be eternally grateful.

It was truly a shame she couldn't love him back. He had many of the qualities she'd so desperately needed in Squall that he hadn't been capable of giving her. There were so many things to love about Seifer, but they both knew, her heart wasn't in it. At times, Rinoa hated herself for that. Her reasons for being here were selfish and for personal gain. He'd done so much for her. She'd asked him to train her, to make her stronger, tougher and faster and he'd done it. He'd taken her in when she had nowhere else to go. He'd understood that she couldn't talk about it, and he'd never asked any questions but had been supportive nonetheless. He even knew that she didn't love him, yet it didn't matter. He was with her anyway.

Seifer ran his thumb along the length of the scar on her forehead before taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger. He turned her face up to his and looked into her eyes. She could see uncertainty there, and that was something he rarely showed anyone else. She knew it was because he trusted her enough to let down his guard.

"This isn't going to be like the last few," he said. "There's going to be a lot of fighting this time."

"I know, Chief," she said lightly. "I've already been briefed on the mission details."

"I just don't want you to get in over your head."

"Been there, done that. Nothing new," she said. "What's really bothering you?"

He shrugged and looked away.

"Seifer?"

"SeeD's going to be there."

Rinoa wasn't surprised, but it would be a problem, just the same.

A year ago, Dollet had been forcibly taken by Galbadia and its Monarchy was sent into exile. SeeD had intervened, but the Galbadian forces had been so large, they'd overwhelmed both the Dollet and SeeD resistance. Now, in attempt to take control back, a coup had been organized, and the resistance would strike back against the occupation.

Seifer had it on good authority that the event would take place in three days. SeeD involvement was almost as good as confirmation. While that meant they'd have the distraction needed to pull off their latest heist, it meant they'd have an even bigger challenge to face. Most SeeDs knew them and would be able to recognize them. That was the last thing Rinoa needed.

She hadn't thought about seeing Squall in Esthar much after that initial encounter. She wouldn't let herself dwell on him or what had driven her to come here. She'd moved beyond those days when she'd been helpless and weak. She'd moved beyond him.

But, seeing him had churned up emotions she thought she'd buried long ago, even if she wouldn't admit it to herself. Time had matured him without aging him. The boyish softness of his face was gone, giving him a chiseled Centran God kind of look. He was still as handsome as she remembered. Even in the darkness, those blue eyes still had the power to captivate her.

Hyne, he'd look so wounded. In her initial exhilaration of facing him and escaping in such a dramatic fashion, she'd felt triumphant and powerful. Once the adrenaline had worn off, she'd just felt weary, and she couldn't get his face out of her head. His guilty expression, the grief so deep it was crushing him. Whatever brave and stoic face he put on for the world was a lie. He had never gotten over her, or what had happened.

But, Rinoa was over it. The events of that night had torn her apart. He'd loved her, yet he'd drawn his blade against her, his eyes full of madness and rage. She'd made the mistake of believing he'd never harm her. She'd made the mistake of believing him to be something more than what he was.

He was a SeeD, through and through. He was what he'd allowed them to make him. While the others had managed to find emotional connections and form friendships, Squall had taken their propaganda and brainwashed himself with it.

She hadn't told Seifer that she'd seen Squall the night she'd been in Esthar. Going to Ellone and Laguna for help was bad enough in his book, and if she were to mention she'd seen Squall, Seifer would have come unglued. She'd never told him what had happened to make her leave, but he suspected, somewhat correctly, that Squall had hurt her. That was reason enough for Seifer to hate Squall even more. It was best left unmentioned.

Rinoa pushed these thoughts out of her head and took another swallow of the Mimmet. The Trabian whiskey didn't ease her turmoil, but it did seem to dial it down enough for her to cope. Seifer looked less than thrilled, but after a moment took the bottle from her hands and took a drink.

"That's the spirit," Rinoa said. "Join the pity party."

Seifer chuckled and threw his arm around her shoulders. It was a gesture of camaraderie and not an overt romantic come-on. He knew better than that. Though they occasionally wound up in bed together, it was always on her terms. Seifer had learned long ago to accept that or face the consequences. After being hit with Flare a few times for unwanted advances, Seifer had learned his lesson.

"Ha," he said. "This is a party of one, babe. Almasy's never feel sorry for themselves. They get up and they get on with it. As an official member of my posse, you had damned well better do the same."

Rinoa shoved his arm off her shoulders, took another swallow from the bottle and began to gather up the photos. Seifer was right. Time to pack the photos away and get her head back in the game. They had work to do.

* * *

><p>Seifer wasn't sure why he was doing this anymore. He wasn't even sure what it was he was after. One thing he knew: he'd made a mistake in involving Rinoa in this. Even if, ultimately, it was about her, training her and having her participate in larceny was a bad idea. Especially since he was basing all his decisions on a damned nightmare.<p>

It wasn't that Rinoa hadn't been a good student. The opposite was true. She'd learned so much, and had become so strong over the last three years. She was good enough with her Katana to take on the best SeeD had to offer, and to watch her fight was impressive as hell. She'd taken what he'd taught her and run with it. Somehow, she'd even added her own element to her battle strategy, turning a simple hack and slash fight into some kind of macabre ballet. It was a beautiful thing to see.

The downside was that she'd adopted an edge to her personality. She wasn't as quick to smile, she almost never laughed, and there was a certain coldness to her demeanor that Seifer found profoundly disturbing. One of the things he'd loved about her when they'd first met was her vivacity and her passion. While she still possessed both, they'd taken a very dark turn, away from her causes and toward certain Squall-like behaviors and a strange determination to do bad, even if she didn't know why. Whether she was intentionally mimicking the young Commander or she was unaware of what she was doing, Seifer found himself not liking this new Rinoa, especially in her darker moods.

Seifer never would have done it if he had known what she'd become. He'd seen too late that she was trying to kill the best parts of herself, and she'd nearly succeeded. He felt guilty about being the one to give her the tools to do it.

It was too late to back out now. Their path was set. They'd come too far to stop now. In their possession were five items of value: The Mask of Hyne, the Bracelet of the Sun, Amalia's Katana, an ancient Centran Book of Prophecy, and a thousand year old Bust of the Tonberry King.

All but one of those items had been stolen. The Book of Prophecy had been given to Rinoa by Ellone the night she'd broken into the Palace. Seifer didn't know how to feel about involving both his Sis and Laguna Loire, but they'd given it willingly, in exchange for allowing Rinoa to test the Palace's defenses.

Loire was an eccentric old bird. In his old age, he was getting paranoid about his safety and was convinced his Security staff was growing lax. In all the years he'd been President Elect of Esthar, there had never been an attempt made on his life, and Loire believed that this had made his security team lazy.

In a way, he'd been right about his security. Rinoa had gotten in and out without a hitch. She'd only been discovered at the last minute and had escaped capture with ease. Seifer was sure this was as much his training as the Palace security's doing. Rinoa was no fumbling novice. She was skilled and smart. Had she not been, she wouldn't have been able to set foot inside the Palace without getting caught.

So, there were two items left on the list. The first was a jewel encrusted cup said to belong to the last Centran Queen, Terra. It was housed in the Palace in Deling City, and the rumor was, Arachnae refused to drink from any other glass but the jeweled cup, believing that it gave the drinker immense power. It was for this reason, they'd stolen the computer from Arachnae's offices. It would be a direct link into the system, and they should be able to obtain the cup with ease.

The second was the Eclipse Stone, a massive 21 karat sapphire that was housed in the Museum of History in Dollet. This was the item they were going after in three days. After that, they'd hit Deling City, get the cup and head to Centra.

What they did when they got there was a mystery to Seifer. All he knew was that this was destiny calling. He'd made a mistake with Ultimecia, but this was different. There was no one inside his head, warping his thoughts and twisting his memory. This was something that had to be done, for Rinoa, for himself, and for all of humanity. The danger coming was great, and without these tools in hand, all would be lost. He'd seen it in his dreams. He'd seen her in his dreams, a Sorceress of such power that the world was ripped apart by her wrath. He'd seen the bloodstained battle fields and scores of fallen soldiers, and he'd seen the Fated Children fall at her feet.

It was the same dream, every night. Horror upon horror of destruction and bloodshed and terror. It wasn't so much a dream as a premonition. He knew She was seeking him out, seeking her Knight. He could feel her pulling at him from far away, as if there was already a bond forged between them.

Seifer knew, if he gave in this time, there would be no coming back, no salvation and no redemption. She would destroy him. Rip his soul into a thousand pieces and throw him away when she was done. He knew this as surely as he knew there was snow in Trabia. He would not give in. He couldn't afford to.

He'd only confessed these dreams to one person.

Matron.

Edea had told him of the prophecies, of the birth of the Sorceress Ultimira, as written at the dawn of time. She'd been the one to tell him of the sacred items that they now had in their possession. She'd told it as a fairy tale, a good story she'd heard as a girl. Nothing more.

In the story, there was a bad man who had given up his evil ways. He wanted to become good so that the girl he'd loved once would come back to him. He tried hard to correct all the bad things he'd done. He tried to be kinder to others…..

"_One day, the girl returned, and she fell in love with him. They lived happily for a while, but then, one day, the sky grew dark and a fog rolled in. From the fog, a voice rang out, saying, "I will destroy you all, and the world too!" It was the Sorceress, Ultimira, and she was the worst Sorceress to ever live. _

"_Ultimira realized that the girl the man has fallen in love with was also a Sorceress. Ultimira tried to kill the girl and take her powers, but the man fought back and protected the girl from harm. Ultimira declared that if the girl was not brought to her within one week, she would tear the world apart. _

"_The villagers turned on the couple. They made plans to kidnap the girl and take her to Ultimria, but the man would not allow that to happen while he lived. He and his Sorceress fled the village in fear for their lives. _

" _They met a man on the road who told to give him the small amount of bread they had left, and he would tell them how to defeat Ultimira. The man gave up the bread, willing to do anything to save his love. _

"_The old man told them they would have to go to Centra and retrieve the Holy objects from the Tonberry King. A blade, a bracelet, a stone, a mask, a book, a cup, and a totem of the Tonberry. With these things, they could destroy the Sorceress. _

"_So they went, to Centra and fought their way through the ruins, encountering Tonberry after Tonberry, but still they fought. When they arrived at the top of the tower, they defeated the Tonberry King and he gave them the Holy objects as a reward for being courageous. They celebrated their good fortune and made their way back down the tower._

"_Ultimera was waiting for them at the bottom. _

"_Which one of you will be sacrificed?" she asked. "Which one will die today?"_

"_The man stepped forward, ready to give his life for his Sorceress. _

"_The girl had other ideas. She stepped in front of him, wearing the Mask and brandishing the blade. In an instant, she struck Ultimira down. As the wicked Sorceress lay dying, the girl knew she would have to take her powers."_

Seifer had not heard the rest of the story, for Matron had found it too gruesome to repeat. The gist of it was that each of the tools had a purpose. Whether they would prove to be like the story was still something Seifer was unsure of. It felt so childish now, to base all his actions of late on a fairy tale and nightmare. Hadn't he done that before? His stupid romantic dream? But, that wasn't the same, either. His romantic dream had been straight up fantasy, a daydream he had during Trepe's lectures. This dream woke him every night, breathless and choking back screams. Not the same thing at all.

All he knew was that it was coming, and coming soon.

He forced his mind back to the present and looked at Rinoa as she got up to switch off the music. Silence filled the room as she went to stand at the window, staring out at the night and the endlessly falling snow.

"Do you ever think about them, Seifer?" she asked. "Your parents?"

He was surprised by the question. No one had ever really asked him that before. Seifer thought about that for a moment before he answered her.

"I used to think about them all the time, back when I was a kid," he said. "Now that I'm older, I figure something happened to them. The war, you know? And if not, if they just didn't want me, then I'm better off."

It was true, and he'd long ago accepted the idea. While he'd always hoped the first was true, he couldn't deny the second was also a possibility.

"Why?" he asked.

"I was just thinking about how there are no pictures of me and my dad after my mom died," she said. "Maybe, I was just wondering if it would have been better if he'd just sent me to an orphanage instead."

When he'd first met her, Seifer had labeled her a spoiled rich girl, once he'd found out who her father was. Now, he knew better. Her two cohorts may have called her Princess, but she was far from being one. By all logic, she should have been the apple of daddy's eye, but Seifer had seen first-hand how Carraway treated her. She was business. An appointment he had to attend to a few times a year and that was it. There was no affection and no feeling in their interactions, just a sense of obligation.

Seifer had to wonder if she wasn't right. Having to see her father over the breakfast table every day, wondering what she did wrong, wondering why he didn't love her, knowing that, emotionally, he'd already abandoned her had to have been painful. It might actually have been better if he'd dumped her off in a group home somewhere. At least she would have known where she stood, for certain, instead of having to look at the one thing she needed, every single day, and wonder if she even mattered to him. Seifer was betting, the only reason he hadn't was because it wouldn't have been a smart political move.

"I thought the pity party was over," Seifer said.

"It is," she said. "I was just thinking out loud."

Seifer got up from the floor and put his arms around her, staring at her reflection in the window. He was glad when she didn't resist. Instead she leaned her head back against his chest and closed her eyes. He kissed her lightly on the temple and gave her a squeeze.

"I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but no more booze for you," he said. "You smell like a distillery."

"I'm over it. I promise."

"Good. Because we have things to talk about."

"Such as?"

"The reason why we're doing all this," he said.

"Then I'm definitely going to need more alcohol. I'll be more likely to accept this hair-brained scheme of yours if I'm shitfaced."

"Yeah, you probably will," Seifer conceded. "Just remember, you're already balls deep in this one, so you might as well get on board."

"Do you have to be so crude?"

"You know you love it when I talk dirty."

"Yeah, you really know how to sweet talk a girl," she said drily.

He chuckled and let her go, but took her by the hand and lead her to the bed, making sure to grab the bottle of Mimmet on the way. They sat side by side, against the headboard, passing the bottle between them as he began to tell her about the dreams.

Maybe he wanted to give her a chance to back out before it was too late. He wasn't sure, but he felt that now was the time to tell her the truth. Everything that was to come depended on it.

* * *

><p>Squall stared at the monitor, as Quistis stared at him. He could feel her eyes searching his as she waited for confirmation. He wouldn't give it to her. For whatever reason, he had to protect Rinoa from being implicated here, even if he was certain that the image before him was her. He knew, beyond a doubt the girl in the video was Rinoa.<p>

Why he was protecting her was a question he didn't have an answer for.

"Squall?"

"I'm not sure," he mumbled.

"What do you mean you're not sure? How can you say that?"

"It's been a long time, Quistis," he snapped.

"So?"

"I don't remember what she looks like," he lied. "It could be her, but I'm not sure."

Quistis slammed her fist against the table and turned away from him. She reached for her purse and withdrew her wallet. She flipped it open to a picture of Rinoa and thrust it at him.

"That's what she looks like, if you need a reference," Quistis said. "She's the one on the left."

Squall didn't have to be told which one was Rinoa. It was obvious, since it was a photo of Quistis, Irvine and Rinoa in Balamb Harbor, posed against a turquoise sea. He realized that Quistis was being sarcastic, but he didn't appreciate the remark. Still, he let it go and made a show of comparing the photo to the screen.

"Maybe," he said as he handed the wallet back.

"What is wrong with you?" Quistis asked. "It's her."

"Quistis, I don't know. The sunglasses and the hair…it's hard to tell."

Quistis stared at him. Her searching look made him want to scream.

"Are you protecting her, Squall?" she finally asked. "Is that it? You don't want it to be her so badly that you're going to go all uncertain on me?"

"Maybe you're seeing something that's not there," Squall fired back.

"Squall, what the hell is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this?"

"Because I don't want to be wrong," He said. "I can't say for certain that it's her, and I'm not going to get my hopes up like you're doing right now, just because I miss her."

"You miss her? Could have fooled me," Quistis said under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, Squall. Never mind."

Quistis took a moment to collet herself before turning back to the video.

Squall was having trouble thinking about what this would mean. He didn't want to have to go after her. Not like this, and especially not with Seifer involved. If it came down to it, he'd have himself taken off the case.

No. That wouldn't work. If someone else went, there was no telling what would happen. He had to be part of this, even if it was going to dredge up old memories best left alone. He would rather it be him than someone else, if only because he needed answers, and he would never get them if she wound up dead or going to ground for good.

Over Quistis' shoulder, Squall looked at the screen again. How had he ever forgotten that smile? He could blame the GF's if he'd wanted to, but that wasn't it. He'd willingly let that memory go for his own sanity's sake. Now that he was confronted with it again, he knew he would never forget it. That smile would always haunt him.

_She_ would always haunt him.

He closed his eyes and prayed that when their paths crossed again, he was able to say the words he'd never been able to say.

_I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry….._

_Forgive me._

* * *

><p><em>AN:_

_This is the last chapter that was complete when I stopped writing it. I tweaked it a bit, but didn't change much. The next chapter was only a partial, and I'm currently working on that and hope to have it up mid week or Friday at the latest. Fans of my other fic, "I Hate Everything About You" can expect an update around the same time. (If you haven't read it, give it a look-it's co-written by PodSara, and we had a LOT of fun writing it….)_

_I've unearthed bits of what appears to be an Alt-Uni tale that borrows from both Robin Hood and just a bit from FF9 and maybe Lord of the Rings, starring Seifer as the "Robin Hood" character. It's an odd sort of re-telling of both FF8 and Robin Hood all mixed up in one with some original twists. I may put up a chapter or two, just to see if there's any interest in it._

_A very big thank you to those of you that took the time to review. Niqsta, Lecritic, & Kim, thanks so much for your comments and I do appreciate your input! To everyone else who bothered to read…and I know you have….thanks for taking a look! _


	4. Devil in the Machine

**The Path of the Feather**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

_Devil in the Machine_

* * *

><p><em>The scar is all my fault. I don't remember how or why it happened. I don't remember drawing my blade against her, but it was there, in my hands, as she lay broken and bleeding on the ground. I don't remember what happened, but I will never forget the way she looked at me after. It was the same way she looked at Seifer when he threw her at Adel's feet. <em>

_Betrayed._

_Her love for me died that night. With one strike, I severed the connection that had bound us so tightly. My whole future, everything we'd fought to keep, it was all gone in one moment of insanity. All for what? A misunderstanding? A momentary lapse of judgment? A bad dream? Honestly, I can't remember what drove me to it. More importantly, I don't want to remember. _

_How could I have hurt the best thing in my life? She'd changed me, made me want to believe in things again, and made me feel complete. For the first time in my life, I had something worth protecting and fighting for, and I ruined it. _

_The idea she has involved herself with Seifer is something I can't handle thinking about. The idea that they're together is unfathomable. Whatever happened that night, I didn't ever want her to leave, let alone align herself with him. Of all the things she could have done, this is the worst thing I could have imagined. _

_But, if she's gone, if she's really and truly left me for him, why do I still feel her there, in my mind late at night? If he's her Knight now, why do I feel as though we're still connected? Is it just wishful thinking? Guilt? Loneliness? _

_If there was a way to take it all back, I'd gladly do it. If there was a way to erase the scars and the past, I'd pay any price…_

* * *

><p>On a cliff top, six miles outside of Dollet, Seifer was watching Rinoa fly. That's what she called it, anyway. <em> Flying.<em>

They'd strung up a zip line across a ravine for Rinoa to practice before the heist. It wasn't really necessary at this point, but there was no harm in extra preparation. They only had one shot to get it right. A slight miscalculation in trajectory would prove disastrous; therefore, Rinoa had felt compelled to practice until she was certain she'd mastered the art of flying.

Seifer suspected she was drawing this out because she enjoyed it, and not because she really felt she needed more practice. When he'd first introduced the zip line during their training in Trabia, Rinoa had been petrified. She'd flat out refused to jump. Fujin, being impatient and temperamental as always, had pretty much thrown her over the edge. That was all it took for Rinoa to decide she liked it. That day, she'd jumped, over and over again, and on the last run had let go of the lead and plunged into the hot springs below.

Seifer had thought she was a goner. He'd raced down to the springs, fearing the worst, only to find her happily doing a back stroke through the water. She'd laughed at his expression and had playfully splashed at him, taunting him from just beyond his reach. It was the first time since she'd come to Trabia that he'd heard her laugh.

Seifer smiled at the memory.

_"Its ten miles back to the house," he'd said. "You're going to freeze to death."_

_"It was worth it," she said. "Try it. The fall is incredible."_

_"Yeah, no thanks. You may be stupid enough to make a ten mile hike, soaking wet, in the freezing cold, but I'm not. I like being alive."_

_"Chicken."_

_"Don't call me that."_

_"Chicken-wuss," she teased._

_"I'm warning you…"_

_"If you're not, then prove it."_

_"No freaking way."_

_She began to frolic around the pool, clucking like a chicken, her hands tucked into her armpits, flapping her elbows in a rather good impression of a chicken. Seifer wanted to be angry, but he was relieved to see her so light hearted, and he had to admit, it was funny._

_"Compromise," he said. "I'll get in with you."_

_"No. You have to jump! Do it right, you big coward."_

_Against his better judgment, Seifer jumped. And she was right. It was the most incredible feeling in the world. _

It was the one and only time since she'd been in Trabia that he'd seen her let loose a little. That was the Rinoa he loved. That was the girl he'd helped Rinoa destroy. Hyne, he wished it didn't have to be this way. He'd give anything to see that light in her eyes again.

* * *

><p>Rinoa loved this feeling. It was the next best thing to actually flying. She loved the speed and the feeling of the wind against her face. She was grateful to Seifer for indulging her this one truly enjoyable experience. He knew she was ready, yet still he allowed her to go again and again, like a kid asking, "just one more time," over and over again.<p>

It was a shame there was no water below. The falling was almost as good as the flying. That feeling, of being completely out of control, was exhilarating.

Hyne, she loved this.

As she careened across the ravine for the umpteenth time, her thoughts turned, inexplicably to Squall.

Being out of control was something Squall had never quite managed to do. Everything was planned and organized well in advance. Spontaneity angered him. He hated surprise visits, last minute plans and most of all, reckless behavior, all of which Rinoa frequently did.

Rinoa could think of only two times he'd allowed himself to act on impulse. The first was when he'd freed her from the sealing chamber in Esthar. She'd been convinced he was going to let them go through with it, and she couldn't blame him. She was a danger to the world, and sealing her away was the logical thing to do, and she hadn't expected anything else. She'd been shocked beyond words when he'd come to free her.

The second was the night she'd left, and that kind of loss of control was something she didn't want or need.

Everything else was orderly and well planned. Even in their more intimate moments, he had never lost control of himself. While he'd been sweet and tender in the bedroom, it was never spontaneous or passionate. She never felt as if he truly desired her. Sometimes, he'd even made her feel like a wanton slut for purposely trying to get him to lose control.

There was merit in doing things his way, as he took his time, and she was never left feeling that she got nothing out of it, but there had been times where she just wanted him to show that he wanted her as much as she wanted him. That wasn't so wrong, was it?

Seifer was different. While Rinoa regretted starting the affair with him, he was completely unafraid of letting things get out of hand. With him, she didn't have to feel bad about interfering with his schedule or even about wanting what she wanted. He was happy to accommodate, and seemed just as eager to make her lose control as she was him. With Seifer, she never had to make plans or have to be careful to always say and do the right thing. She never had to worry that the timing was wrong, or that he wasn't interested. He was never ashamed of showing how much he wanted her.

But Rinoa had never meant to wind up in this sort of arrangement. She'd planned to take some time away, to think things through. She'd never meant to stay, only to hide out for a while, in the last place anyone would think to look for her. No one, not even Squall would have imagined she'd wind up going to Seifer, and that's how she wanted it.

It had started nearly a year after she'd arrived on Seifer's doorstep in the pre-dawn hours, cold and broken and badly needing sleep. Rajin and Fujin had gone to Dollet for supplies, so she and Seifer were alone in the cabin that night, and she was in a mood. All day, she'd been thinking about Garden and her friends and how alone she felt, isolated there in that snow covered wasteland. While it was easier at times to deal with Seifer than it was to deal with Squall and his moods, she found she missed the feeling of belonging somewhere and to someone.

They'd been sitting on the couch, going over some bit of training she had yet to master, and Seifer had reached over, tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and smiled at her. It was in innocent gesture on his part, but the brush of his fingertips had ignited something she'd thought had burned out inside of her. She'd fought it back and tried to focus on her lesson, but that feeling stayed long after she'd climbed into bed.

All she'd needed that night was someone to hold onto, to feel loved and accepted completely by someone, even if that someone was Seifer. So desperate for affection was she, that she'd gotten up, walked down the hall to Seifer's room and climbed in beside him. She'd half expected him to be annoyed by being woken, but he hadn't been. Unlike Squall, he'd been thrilled to find her there and had eagerly pulled her into his arms. It was almost as if he'd been waiting for her.

She so badly needed something to hang onto, something to make the numbness in her heart go away. She needed to remember what it was like to fall asleep in someone's arms and what it was like to be desired. In her mind, it had nothing to do with starting a relationship with Seifer. All she'd really wanted was some kind of comfort, something to make her feel alive and as though she mattered.

It was only supposed to be that one time, but it had felt so good to be wanted, she hadn't been able to stop herself from going to him each time she felt that old loneliness stirring inside. Even now, she knew it was wrong, and that her friends, and most of all Squall, would never forgive her for her indiscretion, but then, they didn't know what happened. She had an inbox full of concerned messages from her friends that proved Squall had never said a word.

None of them would understand any of this. Not how or why she'd ended up where she was, or why she stayed. Rinoa herself wasn't sure why she stayed. Was it because she now felt she had a duty to Seifer for all that he'd done? Because he'd taken her in with almost no questions asked? Because he'd been man enough to apologize for his crimes against her, long before she'd left Squall?

Or maybe, it was the part of her that cared enough to feel guilty about using him was locked away somewhere, buried beneath her new found strength. For better or worse, that first night she'd slept with Seifer had cemented her resolve to be someone else. Already, the training was changing her. She had already begun to train herself to think in terms of strategy, versus emotion.

At the time, the more she could do to destroy the old Rinoa, the better. And if it meant doing the exact opposite of what everyone thought she would do, then so be it. If that's what it took to bury the weak side of herself, then that's what she would do.

Today, she was so far removed from her old self, the only thing they had in common was looks. She didn't even wake up feeling that that girl anymore. She didn't even know who that girl _was_.

She knew one thing for sure, she couldn't count on anyone ever again. Not even Seifer. Never again would anyone be able to hurt her like Squall had. Never would anyone take her down without a bloody fight. Never, ever again.

* * *

><p>Dr. Kadowaki laid down a card on the Triple Triad grid on Squall's desk and took a sip of her coffee, staring at the young Commander as he sifted through his hand. His expression was distant and unreadable, but Dr. K had known him long enough to know that he was distracted. There was a certain carelessness to his movements, and there was that way he had of flicking the cards with his fingernails when he had something else on his mind. When he was into the game, he didn't linger over what card to lay down, he just selected one and moved on. She knew how to read the boy, even if he didn't know she was reading him.<p>

It wasn't as if she was even a challenge for him. Everyone knew he was the best Triad player at Garden. Yet, every Friday, over lunch, he invited her up to his office to play without fail. She knew that this wasn't about the cards, but because he sometimes needed someone to talk to, even if his way of going about it was circumspect. Dr. K knew, too, that for him, she served as makeshift therapist and sounding board for whatever emotional crisis he may have been in. Not that he ever admitted to it or even showed it, but she knew it was there. So, if she could ease his mind a bit, she was glad to do it.

Squall finally selected his card and laid it down beside hers. She grinned when she saw his choice and shook her head.

"You have the best deck in Balamb, and you go with an Ochu," she said as she flipped his card.

"What?" he asked.

He wasn't even aware what card he'd laid down. That much was clear from his expression.

"Is this a new strategy?" she asked. "Because, I have to say, I'm disappointed."

Squall sighed and looked at the card he'd put down, and then at his hand. He dropped the cards face down on the desk and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, my mind's on other things."

"Let's call it a draw then," she said.

"Thanks," Squall said.

He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his eyes. When he offered Dr. K a weak smile, she could see how weary he looked. There were dark circles under his eyes and he was pale. Something was definitely going on with him, and as usual, he was keeping it to himself.

"How are you sleeping, Squall?" she asked casually.

"Okay, I guess."

That was Squall-speak for not well at all. Dr. K had treated him a year and a half ago for insomnia and had prescribed sleeping pills to help him on those nights when he needed them. Either he wasn't taking them anymore, or they'd stopped working.

"Are you taking your medication?" she asked.

"Sometimes," he said. "Sometimes not."

"Is it helping at all?"

"Sometimes," he said.

"Look up the definition of the word _Vague_ and you'll see a picture of your own face, Squall," Dr. K teased. "Is it helping or not?"

"No."

"Perhaps something stronger, then?"

He shook his head and closed his eyes. Dr. K waited while he gathered his thoughts. She knew he sometimes needed to think his words through carefully before he spoke. It was just his nature to censor himself, and Dr. K understood that. She sometimes wished half the Garden would think before they spoke. It might reduce the number of stupid and senseless injuries she had to treat on a daily basis.

"They give me nightmares," Squall admitted. "I quit taking them."

"Nightmares?" Dr. K asked. "How long has this been going on?"

"A year or so. Maybe longer."

"You didn't think to mention this to me before?"

"You have bigger things to worry about than my sleeping habits," Squall said. "It seemed stupid to bother you."

"Not true, son," she said. "For starters, you're our Commander, and as such, it's my duty to keep you healthy and sane. And second, sleep disorders and night terrors are often a warning sign that something else is wrong. You should have told me before."

"It's just stress. It'll pass," he said. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"You didn't bring it up, I did," Dr. K said. "And now I'm concerned. Tell me about them."

"I don't see what good it will do."

Dr. K rolled her eyes at him and let out an exaggerated sigh. Typical Squall Leonhart response. He would never outright say something if he didn't have to.

"I suspect talking about them might actually make you feel better, for starters."

"Are you here to psychoanalyze me, Doc?" he asked. "Because I tried the therapy thing-"

"I know, I know. Others have tried, none have succeeded," she said. "Speaking as your Doctor, I think you should talk with someone. It doesn't have to be me."

Squall got up and went to the window. He ran a hand through his hair and then stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. This was his typical therapy mode, as the doctor had come to think of it. When he needed to get something off his mind, he always got up, went to the window and spoke with his back to her.

"I don't know," he said. "There's a battle. Lots of casualties. People I know are dead or covered in blood and begging for me to help them."

"Go on," she said.

"It's all fragmented. I only get parts of it," he hedged.

"Then tell me the parts."

"Sometimes there's a Sorceress," he murmured at the window. "She's….beautiful. But deadly. Her power is unimaginable. Beyond anything we know to exist. She wants…._me_. She wants me. Sometimes, it's hard to resist her. Sometimes, I hear her calling and I feel nothing. But the blood, and the battle and the death are always there, and I always wake up feeling as if there was something I could do to stop it."

Dr. K was suddenly alarmed. She leaned forward, placing a hand on the desk as she stared that the Commander's back. Maybe it was just a dream, but she couldn't ignore his words. _She wants me. _This could be a sign of something to come, and not merely a dream. And maybe, it truly was just stress. Still, it disturbed the doctor. Any way she looked at it, it wasn't good.

"Is this Sorceress someone you know, Squall?"

He placed his palm against the window frame and leaned his forehead against the glass. She saw his shoulders hunch and then relax as he let out a heavy breath.

"Sometimes, I think so. It's all…confused. Sometimes I feel _her_ too. When I'm awake and trying to sleep, I can still feel the bond," Squall said. He turned toward the doctor, his eyes questioning and just a little bit hopeful. "But that's not possible, is it? I felt our bond break the night she left. If I'm not her Knight anymore, why do I still feel like I am?"

Dr. K had never fully understood what had happened to make Rinoa leave. That was the one thing Squall would never talk about, but whatever it was had been ugly. Ugly enough to make the young Sorceress disappear for good. As far as Dr. K knew, no one had heard from her since the day she'd left.

"Squall," the doctor said. "It's time you told the truth about what happened that night. She didn't really leave because you had an argument, did she?"

Squall glanced at the floor and shook his head.

Dr. K got up and went to him. She placed her hands on his arms and peered up into his face, her expression earnest.

"What happened, son?" she asked. "Why did she leave?"

Squall's face crumpled and he choked back a sob. Dr. K badly wanted to give him a hug, but she knew from experience he'd only pull away and shut down. Squall had never been comfortable with that sort of thing, not even when he was a boy.

"I didn't mean to hurt her," he whispered. "I swear to you, I never meant to hurt her."

"What did you do, Squall?"

He squeezed his eyes shut and bared his teeth as though in agony. It was clear to the doctor that this memory was tearing him up on the inside. Whatever he had done, the guilt was shredding him.

"Squall?" she prompted. "What did you do?"

"I tried…I tried to kill her."

* * *

><p>AN:

I've gotten a few messages concerning why Rinoa would sleep with/live with Seifer. I hope this answers a few questions (but not all of them, haha, I'm not giving EVERYTHING away at this point). There is a reason behind all this, folks. We'll get there. :)

Thanks to my reviewers and to those that put this story on their alerts list! Much appreciated!


	5. Confessions

**The Path of the Feather**

* * *

><p>Chapter 5<p>

_Confessions_

* * *

><p><em>Seifer was never to blame for me becoming a Sorceress. I had a choice. A choice to accept. A choice to deny. In that moment, I chose to accept. In my mind, it was a way for me to fight back, a way to be stronger, and a way to be valuable to the SeeDs at my side. I had no way of knowing that with Edea's power came Ultimecia's possession. All I saw was a way to finally keep up in battle, not the ultimate consequences.<em>

_There are those who believe I am not to blame. My actions were those of a girl possessed and not in her right mind. That's only half true. I could have fought back but I was too afraid to fight. She put terrifying images in my head to keep me docile. She had the ability to make the lie so real, I could see, hear, and even sometimes smell the false reality she'd created. More than that, she knew my weaknesses. She knew of my fear that I was only holding them back, that I would only get in their way. She showed me false consequences of my interfering, all involving horrible, painful deaths for my new friends. Had I resisted, she promised she would make it so. _

_So, I held back and let her use me, and she did the same to Seifer. He believed, in the beginning, he was serving his beloved Matron. At least I had the benefit of being one step removed from the events that took place. She used him directly, warping reality so much that he truly believed himself the hero of the story. Any time he tried to break free, she showed him images of SeeD committing the most heinous of crimes, of Squall and party as rapists and murderers and pillagers. _

_I didn't want to forgive him. I truly didn't. _

_But he sent me letter after letter from prison, begging for my forgiveness. I read them and then discarded them at first, and then it dawned on me:_

_To pretend he didn't __deserve absolution made me a hypocrite. _

_Why? Because, I could have stopped her if I'd had any willpower at all. And I understood the position he was in. In a way, I was almost as feared and loathed as he was. For what I was and what I had done. Even though I'd gone into time compression with them, and had fought alongside them, I was still the enemy of the world in a lot of people's eyes. I still am, and I probably always will be. People fear Sorceresses, even if they're 'good.' Me, I wasn't so good. Not in their eyes. Sometimes, not even in my own._

_So I forgave him. _

_Sometimes, I wish I could forgive myself._

* * *

><p>"I tried…I tried to kill her."<p>

There. He'd said it out loud. For the first time, he was admitting it. It felt good to say it, but it didn't lessen the guilt in the slightest. That was something he'd always feel. He finally understood how Seifer must feel about his actions. This, times a thousand. For the first time, standing there with Dr. K's hands squeezing his arms, he understood Seifer Almasy and what he'd had to live with all this time.

Hyne, Squall had been a fool. He saw now what he was too blind to see back then. Seifer had only wanted to make amends. To apologize. And Squall hadn't seen that, just his own insecurities and jealousy clouding and warping the truth. All he had seen was Seifer moving in on his territory.

"Squall?"

"We did have a fight, about Seifer, but that's not why she left."

"What do you mean, you tried to kill her?"

Dr. K's tone was alarmed, and rightfully so. She, like everyone else, believed Squall Leonhart was some kind of saint, someone incapable of doing the wrong thing. Even those closest to him, those who knew him, couldn't see through the walls he'd built to hide whatever darkness that fed on his soul. To them, he was steady and stoic and logical.

But there was nothing logical about what happened. It defied explanation.

"Maybe I just snapped," he said. "I don't remember doing it. All I remember is standing over her, holding Griever. She was on the ground, blood all over her face, and her blood was on the tip of my blade."

"Oh, dear Hyne," the doctor breathed.

"A part of me wanted to kill her, but I don't know why," he whispered. "She meant everything to me. She was my life."

"Squall, why don't you sit down? And start at the beginning."

He sat down at the desk and buried his face in his hands. He didn't even know where to begin.

"You said you had a fight about Seifer," the doctor prompted.

"I'd seen them together in Balamb that afternoon," he said. "I knew he'd written a few letters, but I didn't know they'd had lunch a few times since he'd gotten out of prison. I was pissed. Really pissed, since I couldn't understand why she'd even want to speak to him after that he did. I guess she tried to explain, but I didn't listen. I wish now that I'd given her that much. We might not be where we are now."

"Do you remember her reasons?"

"Something about their crimes being the same, about how it was her own fault she'd become a Sorceress, and because of that, it was her fault Adel was freed," Squall said. "It didn't even make sense at the time, but later, Matron explained that Rinoa had accepted her power willingly, that she had the option to refuse if she'd really wanted to. She didn't, and that, in Rinoa's mind, made her just as guilty as Seifer."

The doctor nodded, as if understanding what he was saying.

"But you didn't see it as the same thing."

"No, I didn't. I still don't," Squall said. "I'd just come off a week long Peace Summit in Esthar and I was tired and frustrated. The last thing I needed right then was to come home and find her cavorting with my worst enemy. So we argued. She threw a mug at me. I remembered how it barely missed me. It hit the wall and shattered into a thousand pieces."

Strange how clear that memory was, yet the rest of it was blank.

"I accused her of cheating," he admitted. "I gave her some stupid ultimatum and her face changed. The face looking back at me was not Rinoa. It was someone else."

"Who?"

"Ultimecia."

"Ultimecia?"

Squall nodded and ran a hand through his hair and stared at the window. He remembered the feeling of panic and rage that welled up in him as he stared at that Sorceress from the future, standing right there in his living room. A part of him had known it was just a hallucination, but he could distinctly recall the feeling that he had to kill her. If he didn't, she'd just keep coming back, again and again until he could no longer fight her.

"I don't remember what happened after that."

Squall closed his eyes against the memory of the blade in his hand and of himself standing over the woman he loved, watching her bleed.

"I felt as if I'd been taken over by someone else. My memory of it's blank," he said. "It's gone, either by design or because it wasn't even me. Sometimes, I don't think I want to remember."

"You poor boy," the doctor said, sympathetic. "Does she know?"

"She left before I could get my head around what I'd done. She'd packed and gone by the time I snapped out of it," he said. "Believe me, I looked but she'd disappeared. Now I know she went to Seifer. I should have known it then, but I didn't want to believe my own accusation."

"Rinoa would never have cheated on you with Seifer," Dr. K scolded. "That girl was madly in love with you, don't you know that?"

"I know," he whispered. "I never listened to her. I was too busy with my own bullshit to listen. Everything I did was too fucking important to try and understand what was going on with her and now all I have is a job I hate and no friends."

"Squall, they're still your friends. They don't understand what happened, but they still love and respect you."

"They wouldn't if they knew the truth."

"I think they'd understand," Dr. K said softly. "You're under a lot of pressure. They know that."

"What I did to her is unforgiveable," Squall disagreed. "But, she could have stopped me if she wanted to. It was completely within her power to use her magic to defend herself. I don't think I've ever understood why she didn't."

"Maybe, in spite of everything, she didn't want to hurt you. Because she loved you."

That just made him feel worse. Unshed tears burned behind his eyes, and he wished for the thousandth time there was something he could do now to make amends. But the girl he'd seen on the rooftop was so far removed from the girl he'd known, he wondered if it would matter at all to her. No apology would be enough to make up for it. Not now, not ever.

* * *

><p>Rinoa and Seifer checked into a seedy hotel on the edge of Dollet shortly after sunset. She entered the room, feeling strangely emotional as she dumped her bag beside the bed and sat down on the end. Something was wrong, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She could feel a powerful pull from somewhere, and it made her want to break down and cry. She didn't pretend to know why. She hadn't cried since the night she left Squall.<p>

"You want the first shower?" Seifer asked as he kicked off his boots.

Rinoa stared at the floor, trying to figure out what this feeling was. It made no sense. While she was sure these were not her feelings, she knew it had something to do with her.

"Rin? Shower?"

She looked up, realizing Seifer was still waiting for an answer.

"You go ahead," she said. "I just need to sit for a minute."

"Are you all right?"

Rinoa was about to answer when a vision filled her mind. She saw her own face morphing back and forth between her own and Ultimecia's. The image was so powerful, she was rendered speechless. She wasn't sure who's eyes she was seeing through, but they were not her own.

"What's wrong?" Seifer asked.

"I don't know," she choked out.

She squeezed her eyes shut as an ungodly pain shot through her head. She let out a cry and pressed her fist against her temple as the next image came.

A coffee mug, flying through the air. It hit the wall and shattered. Shards of cheap ceramic rained across the kitchen counter and floor. She felt herself flinch as bits of it pelted her. She could hear with intense clarity the tinkling sound as they hit the tile at her feet.

Her own face again, melting in and out of reality. Ultimecia. Rinoa. Ultimecia. Rinoa.

Panic. The flash of a blade.

_"Leave us alone!"_

Squall's voice. Squall's blade.

Rinoa knew what she was seeing now. It was the memory of that night, but this wasn't her memory. It was Squall's. She could see her face through his eyes, her terror as he grabbed hold of her and threw her to the floor.

In the present, Rinoa could only sit there in the grip of the vision, breathless and her head throbbing. She didn't know why she was seeing this, or how it was happening. Her own memories haunted her from time to time, but she'd never experienced anything like this.

The pain in her head became so intense it felt like something was crushing it. She was dimly aware of Seifer's arms around her now, but she couldn't move. The images were paralyzing her, rendering her immobile and powerless. An odd keening came from behind her clenched teeth and she couldn't seem to make herself stop.

_"Leave us alone, damn it! Leave us alone!" _

The flash of steel again, and then the reverberation of impact as the blade met her forehead. Her hand flew to her scar and she doubled over, half shrieking as she felt the same kind of pain she'd felt that night. Fire lit up across her face, and she could swear she felt the wet warmth of blood flowing into her eyes and down the side of her nose. As hard as she tried, she couldn't make herself stop shrieking.

"What is it?" Seifer asked. "What's wrong?"

Rinoa could hear the concern in his voice but she wasn't able to answer. She felt herself, in memory claw against Squall's hands as they seized her, shook her and then discarded her. All the while, a steady stream of swear words poured from his mouth. She could feel herself under his hands, small and fragile but fighting with everything she had in her.

_"Please, Squall," she'd begged. "Please stop!"_

_"You are not Rinoa! I know who you are, and you are not her!"_

Rinoa had never understood what that had meant, until now. He hadn't seen her, only Ultimecia. Suddenly, everything made sense. And, it made no sense at all. Why had he seen Ultimecia in Rinoa's face? Surely, the argument about Seifer hadn't triggered it. Unless Squall had lost his mind. Which at this point, Rinoa was willing to believe.

One final agonizing pain cut through her mind, then the memory released its hold on her. Now more aware of her surroundings, she found herself in Seifer's lap on the floor, half sobbing in relief with her fists pressed to her temples. His arms were around her and he seemed to be rocking her ever so gently.

When it was clear the visions weren't coming again, she got up and staggered to the bathroom. She turned on the faucet and stuck her head under the water, gripping the edges of the sink with both hands. The cold water brought her back to reality, but she couldn't shake the fear that there was more to this than just memory. For one, she shouldn't have been able to see Squall's perspective. And second, she'd sensed someone else there besides Squall. Was there truly some other influence, or had it been Squall's conviction that Ultimecia really was there?

With both hands still gripping the sink, Rinoa stood up and turned off the tap, letting her hair drip into the basin. She felt Seifer's hand on her back and knew that he wanted an explanation, but she had none to give him. She didn't want him to know what had happened, or the true extent of Squall's brutality that night.

Slowly, she turned around and faced Seifer, still shaky but feeling more composed than before. That was, until her legs gave out beneath her and she slipped to the floor, landing hard on her backside.

With a sigh, Seifer crouched down in front of her, looking annoyed but very concerned. He laid a hand against her forehead and felt for her pulse with the other. Rinoa swatted his hands away and leaned against the wall next to the sink.

"I'm all right, I just need a minute," she promised.

Seifer got up, turned on the bath with a noncommittal grunt. He tested the temperature, adjusted the faucet and returned to her side. Without a word, he removed her boots, then her socks and tossed them aside.

"Do you need help getting undressed or can you manage on your own?"

"I'll manage," she said.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded and rubbed her eyes, weary enough to pass out on the floor right there.

Seifer sat on the floor and stared at her, his jade eyes searching her face in a shrewd kind of way.

"I'm not going to ask what that was," he said.

"Good, because I don't know."

That was a lie, but telling him would make things worse. She already knew he vowed revenge on Squall if their paths should ever cross. As angry as she was at Squall, she didn't wish it upon him. Especially now that she'd gotten a glimpse of what he'd seen. Could she blame him entirely if he'd been hallucinating? She wasn't sure anymore. It made her question everything she thought she knew about that night, and herself and the path she was now on.

She was well aware of the risk they were taking, all based on a vague idea and a dream. But didn't she feel it too, if she was being honest with herself? Didn't she feel something pulling at her from time to time? Something dark and treacherous waiting in the wings for the most opportune moment? Whether it was Ultimecia or Ultimera or any other future threat, preparation was necessary. She didn't want to be caught up in the storm, unaware, like she had last time.

As she climbed into the bath and closed her eyes, she heard the faintest of voices in her head.

_Rinoa, I'm sorry…_

* * *

><p>AN:

Dear readers, please do not start a fight on my comments section! Sure, it'll make it look like I've got a lot of reviews, but let's play nice, okay? Everyone's entitled to an opinion here. K?

I have a few things to say about some of the comments/messages I've gotten about this and I'll try to answer everyone's questions to the best of my abilities, and then I'm not revisiting it again, so take it or leave it.

1.I don't think I ever said they slept together right away. That first night, Rinoa was half frozen and passed out from exhaustion. Seifer climbed into bed with her, but there was no nookie implied. It took a year for her to go there, and as she said, it wasn't even about Seifer, it was about everything else. He was convenient. I like Seifer. I think he's a great character, and I don't think it's so unrealistic for there to be a possibility that Rinoa would end up with him, being that they did have a history together. A year is not an unrealistic amount of time, under these circumstances, and she doesn't have many options (think about that…isolated cabin in Trabia with Seifer, Rajin and Fujin…of the three, which is the most logical choice?). They're not 17 anymore, and she is _using _him. Not only that, Seifer apologized for his crimes, whereas Squall didn't. Granted, Rinoa hasn't given him a chance to, but this is how she's rationalizing it.

's psychology: Maybe I didn't clarify, but Rinoa is determined to do anything and everything she would never do before. Whatever the old Rinoa would do in a situation, she will choose to do the opposite. She wants to be someone else so badly, she's willing to do things that she won't be proud of later. That includes burglary, lying, jumping off cliffs, more burglary and sleeping with Seifer. Yes, she has her reasons. Yes, it may backfire. Yes, she's imitating Squall to a point.

: Yes, there's a link. Will this be a Rinoa=Ultimecia story? Not in the traditional sense. I haven't seen this done yet, so at the very least, it's original.

and SeeD cross paths in the next chapter. It will be eventful, and will cover two chapters. Rinoa won't be easy to catch, if they catch her at all.

5. Some of you may not like the direction this takes. It gets pretty dark and there's a lot of violence in coming chapters. It may even border on AU, if only because it's not a fluffy feel good Squinoa (or Selfer in the case of my other story) and a couple characters show a darker side of themselves that may or not be cannon. IF this ends up a Squinoa, (and I'm definitely not saying it won't) it will take a LOT to get there.

6.I'm not upset or offended by the comments/messages I've gotten. I think all of you have valid points, but as the writer, I know where this is going and you guys don't. All will be revealed in time, I just ask for your patience. If it some of the stuff in here puts you off or upsets you, you have my apologies.

Thanks for all the comments, reviews, messages, author alerts and the like. Keep 'em coming.


	6. All In

The Path of the Feather

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

_All In_

* * *

><p><em>Two years of crawling through the snow and dirt and rocks, on my hands and knees. Two years of fighting until I could no longer hold my blade high and my legs would no longer support me, until every muscle in my body was screaming in agony. Years upon years of SeeD training, squeezed into twenty-four months of hell, and I succeeded. Like a Phoenix rising from the proverbial ashes, I was reborn but forever changed by the flames that consumed me.<em>

_I can hold my head high now, knowing that there's no adversary I won't face, no challenge I won't take. I can face anything, anything at all. At least, this is what I told myself. _

_But here I stand, on a narrow ledge between what I was and what I could be, balancing precariously between the past and the future. _

_On one side, I see a future where I'm free, with no ties to bind me to the ground. I see myself surviving in the harshest places in the world, alone and unencumbered and absolutely free. It's an unknown road, stretching out for miles and miles out into infinity and beyond, to a place so far removed from what I know, it might as well be a different world. The dangers this version of me faces are numerous and great. She has no one to rely on but herself, but she'll be fine, all alone out there in the vastness of infinity because she's strong enough to will it so. _

_On the other side, I see what I left behind. I see a weak girl, who wore her heart on her sleeve. This girl is in over her head, flailing at the waves and fighting a current she's not strong enough to navigate. Her path is also unknown, but she's sinking fast and can't find the bottom. I see hands, reaching out to grab hold of her, and there is a chorus of voices telling her it will be all right. _

_Don't fight the current. Don't fight it, just hang on. We'll come back for you. I promise. _

_I promise._

_The question now, is fight or surrender? The girl I am now will never give up. She's not capable of it. She'd rather die than go quietly and without a fight. _

_That other girl? That weak little Princess who wasn't strong enough to defend herself? Well, it turns out; she's a fighter, too. I sought out to destroy her, bit by bit, only to find she's alive and well. I thought I buried her two years ago, beneath the rocks and snow and skinned knees and broken bones. But here she is, clawing her way back up to the surface, fighting the undertow, screaming bloody murder. _

_That pathetic little weakling, she never stopped believing. Not for a second. Even as she saw the blade coming, even as it struck her and tore open her tender flesh, she never, ever stopped believing. Even as she forced herself to run full tilt into the mountains of Trabia, she believed that he would come for her._

_So as I stand teetering on the edge of what was and what could be, I have a choice to make._

_Let her win?_

_Or kill her completely?_

* * *

><p>When Seifer woke early the next morning, Rinoa was still sound asleep. Even in sleep, she looked troubled, and Seifer was deeply worried about her.<p>

Whatever had happened the night before, it must have been significant. Never before had he seen her like that, and he couldn't get the sound of her pained cries out of his head. She'd refused to talk about it, which made Seifer suspicious. Given the nightmares he was having, he couldn't rule out the possibility that this unknown Sorceress was making her play for Rinoa.

If that was the case, they were working with less time than he'd thought. That meant they may have to get the Cup from Deling City sooner than planned, and while he wasn't exactly unprepared for that leg of the mission, he would have preferred to have more time.

If it was something else, he wasn't sure how to handle it. He half wondered if it wasn't all the pressure on Rinoa. In addition to being the one taking the biggest risk, Rinoa put a lot of pressure on herself. Sure, Seifer had pushed her hard while training her, but that was nothing compared to what she seemed to be doing to herself. Nothing was ever quite good enough in her eyes. She wasn't quite fast enough. Not strong enough. Not prepared enough. She'd never blamed him, only herself for what she saw as a laundry list of weaknesses and faults.

Rinoa wasn't weak. That was for damned sure. No wimp could have gone through Seifer's version of SeeD training and come out the other side standing tall. He'd put her through hell. A daily sprint up the mountain, followed by hours of combat, strength and agility training. Then, there was all the stuff he'd made Fujin do because he didn't have the heart to put her through it himself. Fujin's delight in causing others pain bordered on the sociopathic, and she'd honestly enjoyed putting Rinoa through what amounted to days and weeks of torture. Often, Seifer had to leave because it made him physically sick to see Fujin deliver it, and Rinoa sit back and take it better than most men.

No, she wasn't weak by a long shot. When it came down to it, Rinoa was the toughest person Seifer knew. Even Fujin had acknowledged that. Rinoa had been tough enough to earn Fujin's respect, and that wasn't easy to do.

Strangely enough, with that respect came what Seifer could only describe as a sisterly affection between the two. Fujin, who was never gentle with anyone, would beat the crap out of Rinoa in training, and then turn around and act the caregiver, tending to Rinoa's wounds with the patience of a saint. They were the last two people Seifer had ever thought would understand each other, but they did on some level that was beyond his comprehension.

He watched Rinoa sleep for a moment longer, and then dressed for the day. He gave her one last glace, and then headed out, taking the stairs so he wouldn't be seen by the receptionist. Outside in the alley, he checked to make sure he was alone and then pulled out a cell phone and dialed Rajin's number from memory.

"What's up, ya know?"

"How are things looking?" Seifer asked.

"Fooge says it's still a go," Rajin said. "Everything's going as planned, but, ah, Seifer? I got some bad news, ya know?"

Seifer pinched the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb, praying whatever Rajin had was trivial. The last thing he needed were any more complications.

"What is it?"

"_They're_ here. Ya know? Squall and Instructor Trepe and all them," Rajin said. "Fooge heard it's gonna be a field exam."

Seifer swore and kicked the heel of his boot against the wall behind him. This was bad news. Very bad news. That meant SeeD would have eyes everywhere. During field exams, there would be spotters all over the city, looking out for the cadets, in addition to those already stationed there for tactical purposes. The chances they'd be seen had just increased tenfold.

"I'll call you back," Seifer said and hung up.

He had to think this through. Going forward would mean they were taking a huge risk. A regular SeeD operation would be risky, but this was asking for trouble. Even worse, the gang of heroes was here, and Seifer wasn't sure he was willing to take the chance of being caught. Not by them, anyway. Getting caught by Galbadia was one thing, but SeeD was a whole different Chocobo.

Maybe, it would be better to wait.

Then again, if Rinoa was under fire from some unseen force, then they had no choice but to go ahead. That was something he needed to know, right now, before he made a rash decision that would cost them time and resources and potentially expose them to unnecessary danger.

Back upstairs, Rinoa was awake, but she hadn't gotten out of bed yet. Seifer laid his trench coat aside and kicked off his boots, then reclaimed his place beside her. He lay facing her and slid one arm around her waist, pulling her close.

"Morning, gorgeous," he murmured. "Sleep okay?"

"Okay, I guess," she said. "What's up?"

"Don't get pissed at me for asking, but what was that last night?" he asked.

"I don't know," she said. "I don't want to talk about it."

She moved to get up but Seifer cinched his arm around her waist, holding her in place until she stopped fighting it. When she gave up, she relaxed into him and laid a hand against his chest.

"I only have one question," he promised, "And then I won't ask anything else."

"What?"

"Did that have anything to do with a Sorceress?"

Her expression changed from one of annoyance to understanding.

"Do you mean, was someone trying to possess me?" she asked.

"That's what I mean."

"No. Not at all."

Seifer was inclined to believe her, so he let the subject go, relieved to hear that maybe they still had some time to prepare.

Hyne. All this was so crazy. Not for the first time, he doubted the validity of his actions. The more he thought about it, the more insane it seemed. Yet, a part of him was absolutely certain they needed to do this, and to finish it. He was even willing to bet his life on it, if he had to, in spite of how irrational it all seemed.

"Why?" Rinoa asked. "What's wrong?"

"I just needed to know," he said. "You have your secrets, I have mine."

"Real mature, Seifer," Rinoa said as she got out of bed. "So? Is everything set?"

"It's set, but there's a complication."

"What's that?"

"They're _all_ here."

Rinoa blanched but didn't comment. Seifer watched her pull a pair of cargo pants from her bag and put them on. He could tell by her demeanor this news wasn't going to change her desire to complete their objective. For the first time, he wasn't glad for her determination. A thousand things could go wrong, and he had no idea how Rinoa might really react if she came face to face with one of them, even if she pretended indifference.

Worse, what if it was _him_? What if she came face to face with Leonhart and either broke down or snapped? Either was likely, but Seifer wasn't going to bet on which reaction would win out in the end.

He sat up and watched her finish getting dressed in silence. Her movements were steady and sure as she slipped the custom holster on over her black midriff-baring tank and fastened it, checking her weapons one at a time. She didn't even seem to doubt what she was doing at all. He wondered, was he responsible for making her this cold, efficient and confident, or was this just affectation?

"Did you hear what I said?" he asked.

"I heard you," she said. "Does it make a difference?"

"I wonder."

"What does that mean?"

"You're awfully calm, considering the risk," he said. "Nevermind the chance of running into an old friend."

Rinoa stared at him and her gaze was steady, but just for a second he saw her uncertainty. So, she did have concerns. For some reason, Seifer was relieved to know this. It meant he hadn't completely managed to destroy her.

"I don't want to run into them," she admitted, "but I can handle it if I do."

"And how do you plan to do that?"

"They won't be my friends, they'll be people standing in the way of what I want," she said. "Isn't that what you taught me?"

Seifer closed his eyes and shook his head. He wished to Hyne he hadn't done this. Right then, he made an executive decision and he was sure she wasn't going to like it.

"I'm calling it off," he said.

"What?"

"All of it," he said. "It's over. We're done."

Rinoa lunged forward and gave him a rough shove, hard enough to make him flop back into the pillows. It shouldn't have surprised him, but her strength was impressive. He might have been proud if he didn't feel as though it had been such an enormous mistake. The price of her strength had been her soul.

"You listen to me, Seifer," she said. "You're the one that said we have to do this. I believed you because sometimes, I feel it too. We've come this far, it's too late to stop now."

"What do you mean, you feel it too?"

"I just feel her sometimes," Rinoa said. "Trying to find a way in."

"You didn't tell me that."

Had she told him, he would have….what? Called the whole thing off sooner? No. If anything, it would have made him want to finish this sooner. In a way, he was glad he hadn't. It would have just made him worry.

"I didn't want you to know," she said. "It's only been a couple of times."

"You should have told me."

"I chose not to," she said.

"Did you lie to me about last night?"

"No," she said. "That was something else. I swear."

"How do I know that's the truth?"

Rinoa turned away from him and rummaged through her bag. She pulled out a tool belt and fastened it around her waist, ignoring his question. Seifer grabbed her by the arm and gave her a hard tug when her silence continued.

"Answer me."

Her eyes were cold as she looked from him to the hand gripping her arm. He let her go and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He hadn't meant to be so gruff, but hell, she wasn't giving him much of an option.

"Tell me the truth."

"Fine," she said. "If you must know, it was about _him_. That's all I'm saying and don't you dare ask anything else about it because I won't tell you."

Squall? That was the last thing Seifer expected to hear. He couldn't even begin to imagine what Squall had to do with her episode, and he decided not to push the issue. Still, it made him angry to know whatever pain she'd been in, whether physical or emotional was because of Leonhart. One more thing Seifer vowed to make him pay for.

"Look, I trust you, Seifer," she said. "I do, but we're not backing out now. This is your chance to finally do something right. You want to be the hero, this is your chance."

"It isn't about being a hero," he said.

"Liar."

"I don't give a damn about that anymore," he insisted. "You should know better."

"Whatever," she said. "Are you in or out?"

"I'm out," he said. "And so are you."

"The hell I am."

"Rinoa-"

"We're doing this," she said. "You and me, okay? If we don't, she wins. Don't ever forget that."

Seifer wasn't a man given to doubt, but he had so many doubts about this, and about Rinoa that he wasn't convinced anymore that he was doing the right thing. He reached out and took her hand lightly in his and pressed a kiss into her palm.

"Okay," he agreed, though reluctantly. "But if it looks like there are too many of them hanging around, I'm calling it off."

"Fair enough," she agreed.

He pulled her into a fierce embrace and dropped a kiss on top of her head. He was surprised when she returned the embrace, tucking her cheek against his chest with a heavy sigh. He wished he could tell her how much he cared about her, and how much he missed the old Rinoa, but she didn't want to hear it. It was too hard for him to say, anyway. He didn't want to sound like an idiot. He would have to make due with all the little moments like this one, when she reminded him why he'd fallen for her in the first place.

He had the strangest feeling this would be the last chance he would get to hold her in his arms and feel that he still loved her. After today, it was likely that all bets were off.

* * *

><p>Zell stood on the rooftop of the tallest building in Dollet, peering through a pair of binoculars out at the city streets below. Beside him, Quistis was doing the same in silence. There wasn't much going on yet, but he'd been informed all hell would break loose soon. The Dollet rebels had planned a full-on assault on the Galbadian occupation, scheduled to start any minute. For Zell, this was the most exciting thing to happen in a couple of years, it was just a pity he wouldn't be doing any actual fighting unless everything went down the crapper.<p>

This was going to be a massive operation, and spotters for the SeeD candidates were in short supply. Being that Zell had injured himself during a drunken T-board escapade with Irvine three weeks prior, he was on reserves. While his sprained wrist and damaged ligaments in his knee had healed, thanks to Dr. K's brilliant doctoring skills, Zell was considered a last resort. He'd been annoyed by this, until Quistis had asked him to help with the grading.

There was nothing going on down on the ground, so he did a sweep of the rooftops, more out of boredom than surveillance. He didn't expect to see anything out of the ordinary, but something on the library roof caught his eye.

It was a lone figure dressed in black, fumbling through a black bag. He watched as the figure, a woman, removed a length of rope and a harness. He zoomed in as she fastened the harness around her waist and attached it to the rope with a carabineer, then attached the other end to what looked like a hand cannon of some type. Her back was to him, but he took note of the katana slung across her back.

Finally, something interesting going on.

She half turned, her face obscured by long, dark hair, and he watched as she checked her tool belt and a pair of handguns in her shoulder holster. The chick was armed to the teeth. He wondered, was she part of the resistance? Or a SeeD? He wasn't really sure, but she was something. Or up to something.

He was about to check the street below again when the woman turned and he saw her face. Zell let out a shocked gasp, reached over and clamped down on Quistis' arm.

Zell didn't want to believe what he was seeing, but there she was, in broad daylight, her face filling the lenses of his binoculars. Though she wore heavy black eyeliner, there was no mistaking her for anyone else. For a moment, he could only stand there, taking her in.

He'd been warned that she was involved in some kind of heist scheme with Seifer, but he hadn't really believed it. Nor had he expected to see her here, but here she was, looking as though she belonged in SeeD's Elite program. Even from here, he could see how much she'd changed. She looked lean and tough, and her movements were sure and practiced. Clearly, she'd spent a lot of time working out.

"Zell, let go."

He glanced at Quistis and gave her an apologetic smile as he freed her arm from his grip.

"Sorry," he said. "Do you see this?"

"What?"

"Library roof, right side," he said. "Is that who I think it is?"

Quistis peered through her own binoculars and let out a gasp.

"Damn it," she muttered.

"What the hell is she doing?"

"My guess? Grand theft artifact. This complicates things."

Zell watched as Rinoa fired her blaster edge at the building across the street. The bolt was attached to the rope she'd been fiddling with before, and it lodged into the wall a few feet above one of the top floor windows. She gave it a firm tug, seemed satisfied and backed up a few paces.

"Bloody brilliant," Zell said appreciatively.

"Oh, it's brilliant all right," Quistis said drily. "Brilliantly stupid."

"No it's not," Zell disagreed. "That zip line's genius, not to mention, a hell of a ride."

"I don't mean that. I mean…oh, nevermind."

"What's going on?" Squall deadpanned from behind them.

Zell, startled, turned and almost dropped his binoculars. Thanks to his exceptional reflexes, he caught it just before it hit the ground.

"Ahh, I don't think you want to know?"

Zell hadn't thought of what kind of reaction Rinoa's presence might get out of Squall. Squall had spent the last few years pretending she didn't exist, but they all knew the truth. Rinoa leaving had devastated him. To see her now, doing whatever she was doing, would likely open up old wounds and the moody commander would be a tyrant to deal with for the next six months.

"You should probably see for yourself," Quistis said, handing him her binoculars. "Library roof."

Squall took a look as Zell joined in, just in time to see Rinoa conversing with Seifer. Zell winced as he realized what he'd heard was true. He was seeing it with his own eyes, and it was still hard to believe. He couldn't imagine what reason Rinoa could have for consorting with Seifer Almasy, other than complete and total insanity.

"I'm sorry, Squall," Quistis said quietly.

"Whatever," he muttered and continued to watch through the binoculars.

"What are you going to do?" Zell asked.

Squall ignored him and removed a two-way communication device from his pocket without lowering the binoculars. His face was impossible to read, but Zell was pretty sure Squall was less than thrilled by this development.

"Selphie, come back," Squall said into the radio.

"_Talk to me, oh mightiest of commanders in the land_," was Selphie's reply.

Zell suppressed a chuckle and saw Squall roll his eyes.

"We've got activity on the roof of the Library," he said. "Suspect A is a female, approximately twenty to twenty-two, dark hair, wearing black. Suspect B is Seifer Almasy."

"_Gotcha, Master in Chief_," Selphie said. "_Are they armed?_"

"Heavily."

On the roof, Seifer retreated from view and Rinoa tested her line again.

"What is that building across the street?" Squall asked.

"Museum of History," Quistis informed him.

"Selphie, Suspect A is heading to the Museum of History. Gather your team and head over. This is top priority. Disable but do not kill her. Got it? I'll meet you there shortly."

"_Squall_?" came Selphie's uncertain voice. "_What's going on_?"

Squall ended the communication without answering and turned to Quistis.

"Get with Xu," he said. "You're going after Seifer."

"You can't be serious, Squall," Quistis protested. "We're about to be right in the middle of a warzone, and you want to go after them?"

"We're still under contract with Caraway," Squall said. "This might be the only chance we get."

"Squall-"

"Don't argue with me, just do it," Squall said.

On that note, he turned and sprinted for the stairs without so much as a glance back.

Zell and Quistis looked at one another. Worry and panic filled Zell's heart. Though he hadn't seen Rinoa in a long time, that didn't mean she wasn't missed. He'd never really understood what happened or why Rinoa left, but he knew it must have been bad. Personally, he blamed Squall, but he knew that wasn't really fair. One thing he knew, if he were in Selphie's shoes right now, he would have appreciated a heads up.

"Someone should tell Selphie," Zell said. "She should know what he just ordered her to do."

Quistis nodded and gave Zell a dark look.

"It's not Selphie I'm worried about."

* * *

><p>On the Library roof, Rinoa backed up a few paces, then sprinted toward the edge. When she reached the low wall at the perimeter, she stepped up on the coping and launched herself off the side of the building, executing a flawless swan dive out into the empty air. As the rope swung her downward, she used the momentum to bring her legs out in front of her and she fired three rounds into the window she was fast approaching. She covered her face with one arm and unbuckled the safety on her harness as her feet hit the glass. She plunged into the attic of the museum, glad for the extra preparation work she'd done.<p>

She tucked and rolled as she hit the floor, her weapon already drawn as she came to a stop. She got to her feet and did a quick 360 sweep of the room. Certain she was alone, she quickly found the stairs and proceeded down with caution, clearing her path as she went.

Downstairs, she found the artifact room with ease, and was relieved to find it deserted. Outside, an explosion signaled the beginning of the rebel assault, and Rinoa had to give Seifer credit for timing this perfectly. The hard part was over. She had the cover she needed to pull this off, now all that was left was to grab the stone and get clear of the building without being sighted. With the chaos going on outside, she figured her escape would be simple.

In the glass case before her, the massive Sapphire gleamed in the artificial light. It was truly impressive and cut to show off its deep midnight blue hue. She took just a moment to admire it, wondering what its purpose might be. Seifer had told her that everything was significant, even if he didn't know how.

As she reached for the case, the main door burst open and several people filed into the room. Rinoa ducked behind the case, peering through the glass to identify the intruders. SeeDs. Not good.

Thinking fast, she threw caution to the wind and fired a round into the glass case, reached in and seized the stone. The alarm began to sound as she pocketed it and quickly searched for the safest way out. As the SeeDs moved into the room, they fanned out, blocking all the exits.

Ahead of her was a wall with a wide glass window, and a hallway beyond. She'd just have to take the chance.

"Come out, come out wherever you are," came a familiar sing-song voice.

Selphie.

Hyne, not now. Not Selphie.

Rinoa made a show of putting her hands in the air and slowly got up. As she turned to face her old friend, she took note of the gun Selphie held aimed at her heart.

And so it was. As Rinoa had told Seifer this morning, all she would see was someone standing in her way. It was obvious the same held true for Selphie. She was a SeeD, and had no qualms about shooting an old friend if that friend was now the enemy.

"I really, really don't want to hurt you, Rin," Selphie said, sounding sincere. "So please don't make me."

Rinoa had no intention of surrendering, but she bowed her head as though feeling remorseful.

"Good to see you, Selphie," she said. "How are things?"

"Really, really good! Irvy finally proposed and we're getting married next month and it's going to be amazing," Selphie gushed. Then, she scowled. "Quit trying to distract me! Drop your weapons and kick them over here. Nice and slow."

Rinoa shrugged as though defeated and flung her blaster edge across the floor toward her old friend. As Selphie bent down to pick it up, Rinoa took a step backward and slipped the barrel of her gun between her arm and her side, aiming at the window behind her. She fired two shots, backed up and used her elbow to bust out the rest of the pane.

Bursts of gunfire erupted around her and she hurled herself over the waist-high wall and dropped to the ground on the other side. On her belly, she crawled toward the only door in the hallway. She reached up, turned the knob and discovered another hallway, this one lined with doors leading to what she guessed were offices. She crawled inside, and got to her feet trying to judge the where the nearest exit might be.

A large object hit the wall in front of her, and she slammed the door shut, locking it from her side, then backed away from the item, which had begun to emit a hazy white smoke.

Tear gas?

She ran to the left and hit the button on her communication device.

"Seifer, get me the hell out of here. Now."

"What's up?"

"They know I'm here."

As she searched for a way out, passing office after office, she began to choke on the fumes that were filling the hall, and her eyes began to burn.

"Did you get the stone?"

"Yeah, I got it, but then everything went to shit," she said. "I've got SeeDs behind me and I can't find the stairs."

"I'll be there."

Rinoa could barely see now, but she headed in the direction she thought the stairs should be. She felt along the wall, keeping her eyes closed, trying her best not to breathe. When she reached the end of the hall, she found a door with an Exit sign above it and grasped the handle. When she pulled on it, nothing happened. In frustration, she kicked it and let out a frustrated shriek.

_Calm, Rinoa. Calm. You need to stay calm. There's a way out, you just have to relax. _

Through squinted eyes, she took aim at the lock mechanism on the door, just as it burst open from the other side. She found herself staring at the business end of someone else's gun.

Its owner was the last person she wanted to have to face now or ever.

Squall Leonhart.

* * *

><p>AN:

Thanks again for your reviews, messages, alerts and favorites. I appreciate it very, very much!


	7. In Sotto Voce

**The Path of the Feather**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

**In Sotto Voce**

* * *

><p><em>There was a time when I had hope for the future. The months following our return from Time Compression were filled with moments of unbelievable joy and I can honestly say it was the happiest time I can remember. For a lonely teenager who hadn't cared about anyone since he was a boy, those days were a revelation. I found myself caught up in a tide of feeling I'd never allowed myself before. For the first time, I knew what it was to love and be loved. I knew she loved me completely. I never doubted that.<em>

_It's the simple things that I remember now. It's those simple things that were more important than anything else. I took it all for granted. I thought she'd always be with me. I thought we would have a lifetime of those moments._

_The moment I realized that I loved her is the one that haunts me most. It was unplanned, and the event itself might have been insignificant in my memory, if not for the simple fact that it was the moment I knew for certain that I loved her._

_I'd found her in the ballroom, all alone. She was barefoot and wearing a simple sky blue sundress that fell just above her knees. There she was, dancing with an imaginary partner, as if to recreate our first meeting, and singing the words to the Balamb Waltz as she twirled across the floor. _

_I watched her without her knowing it, smiling to myself at this amazing thing that had happened to me. Her way of being so carefree and uninhibited was something foreign to me, but I was trying. Sometimes I was successful, sometimes not. But that was the point; I was trying. My old self would have rolled my eyes and left, but the man I was quickly becoming, was fascinated._

_Her voice was strong and clear; practiced, as though she'd had lessons. All the notes overlapped as the tune echoed through the empty ballroom. All I could do was stand there, a man enchanted. Everything about her held me in thrall. Even the annoying things about her had the power to mesmerize me, like her tendency to state her unwanted opinion at the most inappropriate of moments, or her ability to know just how to push my buttons, or her obvious delight at making me uncomfortable. Even her flaws were captivating._

_When she saw me, she faltered and flashed me an embarrassed grin as she nervously fingered the chain around her neck. _

_"You weren't supposed to see that," she said._

_"I didn't know you could sing."_

_"I can't, really."_

_"You're wrong about that."_

_"What would you know about it, Leonhart?" she teased. "The only music in your life consists of angry twenty-somethings growling bad, angst-y poetry over power chords. You must be tone deaf if you can stomach more than five minutes of that stuff." _

_I drifted toward the piano to the left of the stage, wondering what she might think of the lessons Matron had given me and the others growing up. That fact had never been widely known, and of the six of us, only Quistis and I had continued beyond age 11. I finally had to stop the lessons at 13, due to a heavy training and class schedule. I'd always regretted it, if only because it was something non-Garden related that I actually enjoyed. _

_I was no virtuoso, but I hadn't been bad either. _

_"Who said I'm tone deaf?" I asked._

_"You'd have to be if you think I can sing," she said. "I can barely carry a tune."_

_"You are wrong on both counts," I deadpanned, "and I'm going to prove it to you."_

_For most people who knew how to play a piano, it was no major feat to sit down and show off their skills. For me, it was the equivalent of swimming from Balamb to the Deep Sea Research Center without a life vest, but I sat down on the piano bench and began to play the only song I could remember from those long ago lessons. _

_It was fitting that it would be her mother's. Her face lit up in surprise as she realized what I was doing and she gave me a sweet, but pleased smile. _

_"Sing," I commanded._

_So she did. _

_Her voice was eerily reminiscent of her mother's. I thought, if I closed my eyes, I could be convinced I was listening to a recording of Julia Heartilly, and not the woman that I was quickly falling in love with. It amazed me that she possessed this talent and hadn't thought enough of it to share it with others. I felt lucky. Lucky to be her audience of one. Lucky to be the guy she'd chosen. Lucky, even, to be her knight._

_Matron had once pointed out that I might have been an exceptional pianist, if not for my lack of emotion. She'd told me that the difference between skill and talent was passion, and that feeling affected note inflection. I'd never quite understood what she meant. I played all the notes right, and I knew what sotto voce and allegro meant. I understood the technicalities of music and easily processed that it was largely mathematical, so I was baffled when she'd told me I needed to feel the notes. How do you feel something intangible? _

_I didn't understand that playing all the notes right wasn't enough._

_Not by a long shot._

_As soon as the song was done, she threw herself into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing me with every bit of passion she could muster. The way it made me feel, to have her that close shouldn't have taken me by surprise, but it shook me to my core. I knew, right then, that I loved her and always would. _

_In that split second, as her lips touched mine, I finally got what Matron was trying to tell me so long ago. Nothing matters unless you feel it. _

* * *

><p>As soon as Rinoa communicated that she was in trouble, Seifer was on the move. He ran down the fire escape two steps at a time, feeling a surge of panic well up inside of him. He'd known this was going to be a disaster, and he mentally kicked himself for allowing Rinoa to talk him into doing this today. He'd thought the rebel uprising would provide a great distraction, but he hadn't planned on having to deal with the whole of Balamb Garden on top of it. Now, he could only pray Rinoa found a way out, or that he could at least get to her before it was too late.<p>

At the bottom of the fire escape, he found himself in an alley between two streets. The Museum was across the street on the right. Getting there shouldn't be too big a problem; it was getting in that was going to be tricky. They'd purposely planned on using the zip line into the Museum attic because the SeeD focus would be primarily on the ground. By going above the action, he'd hoped to avoid this sort of thing.

He moved to the end of the alley and peered out at the street, where several groups of rebels and G-army were battling it out with whatever weapons they could get their hands up. He saw one teenaged boy wielding a 2x4 against two G-army soldiers, and a 40-ish woman taking stabs at another pair with what appeared to be a broken wine bottle. Seifer couldn't help but long to be a part of it. Not for glory or fame, but simply for the thrill of sticking it to a bunch of G-army thugs.

But there was no time for that. He had to get to Rinoa before SeeD did. No doubt, if they took her into custody, he'd never get to her.

In his head, he heard a strange, maniacal cackle. He knew that laugh.

"Get out of my head, you bitch," he muttered.

_"…you and your Sorceress….burn the world…."_

Her voice was too faint to hear the full statement, but Seifer didn't care to hear it anyway. He clenched his eyes shut and purposely scraped his knuckles against the brick wall beside him, hard enough to break the skin. He'd rather feel pain than the butterfly wings of her voice against his consciousness.

"Fuck you," he said. "Not this time."

He felt her pull back, laughing at his imprudence. He let out a breath and returned his attention to the task at hand. As he prepared to sprint across the road, a military vehicle screeched to a halt in front of him, blocking his exit. The driver was in a SeeD uniform, and though he was not familiar, the passenger was. Seifer cursed to himself and turned to go the other way, trying to figure out how to circle back toward the Museum without being caught up in the battle or just caught.

At the other end of the alley, a second vehicle was fast approaching. He was trapped here, and the only way out was back up.

"Stop right there, Seifer," Quistis said, aiming a large assault rifle at his head.

"Or what, instructor? You shoot me?" he asked. "Speaking as the one fate's tapped to save the world, that would be a very, very bad idea."

"Delusional much?" Quistis asked. "How do you liken theft to saving the world? That's not even logical."

"Going after me when you should be protecting the citizens of Dollet is illogical," Seifer countered. "Don't you have some newbies to look after?"

The second vehicle came to a stop behind him, and Seifer found himself surrounded by four people, each with an assault rifle trained on him. There was no escape now, was there?

There was a slight buzzing in his head and he felt a new presence in his mind. Not a Sorceress, but someone with power. He didn't feel threatened, just oddly at peace. He knew this feeling, and he knew what it meant. Ellone had been keeping tabs on him.

_Seifer? You know that old saying, the enemy of my enemy is my friend? It's time you asked for help. You're going to need it._

* * *

><p>As Rinoa stood there, face to face with Squall Leonhart, all she could think about was the way his hands had looked against a field of piano keys, and how once upon a time, it had turned her on to know those hands were as capable of fighting as they were of producing music. Now, as they held their respective weapons on one another, she wondered if those hands would be capable of pulling the trigger. She wondered if she would.<p>

Yes. The answer to that was yes. Instinctively, she knew she could do it if she had to, and she also knew that killing him would be the final brush stroke on the masterwork of her path of self-destruction. To kill him was to end the last remaining shred of the scared child she used to be.

She didn't want him dead. She just wanted him to be anywhere but here, to walk away from this and never look back.

"This will be a lot easier if you don't resist," he said quietly, his aim never wavering.

_Easier for who?_ Rinoa wondered.

Instinct told her he was underestimating her, that he hadn't a clue what she was truly capable of, and she was glad for that.

"Whatever it is that you're doing," he said, "maybe I can help. If you come back to Garden, we can figure a way to get you out of this mess you've gotten yourself into."

Not a chance. Rinoa dropped her shoulder and rammed into him, knocking him backwards into the stairwell, then sprinted past and back up into the attic. She had a bit of rope left. Escape was possible if she could just get back to the window she'd come in through, though she risked being unable to cover herself for several seconds while airborne. She would just have to take the chance.

"Seifer, where are you?" she hissed into her communications device as she hit the top floor landing.

_"Bit of a complication,"_ he said. His voice sounded weird. _"SeeD's got the place surrounded."_

Hyne almighty. So, she was on her own. Damn. She'd hoped, at the very least, Seifer could provide cover fire for her escape.

_"Rinoa, we have Seifer in custody,"_ Quistis' voice said through the communication device. _"He surrendered peacefully, and I suggest you do the same, before you get hurt."_

Seifer? Surrendered? That had to be a joke. Seifer would never surrender peacefully. He'd resist arrest and take out as many people as necessary in the process. Just as she planned to do. Whatever happened, she had no intention of going quietly, and there was still a chance she could escape, so long as she could get to that window.

Behind her, Squall burst into the room and aimed a powerful Blizzara spell her way. She ducked and rolled behind a large armoire as it flew past and hit the pillar she'd been standing next to. Shards of ice flew through the air and rained down upon her, but caused her no damage. So, this time he was willing to play ball, and it seemed he was one of the few SeeDs left who still junctioned a GF. Well. Two could play that game. The only way she was getting out of here was to fight and incapacitate him before Selphie and her team decided to search the attic.

She patterned her hand in the air and cast Ultima. She turned in time to see the spell hit him, but discovered it didn't have the desired affect she'd hoped. No doubt, he'd junctioned the most powerful spells to his stats, so there was no point in casting. She'd just have to do this the hard way.

She withdrew her katana and stepped out from behind the armoire, ready to fight to the death, if that's what it took.

"I'm not going to fight you," Squall said.

"That's no fun," she said. "I'll just have to make you."

With that, she advanced on him, slicing her blade downward as she moved forward. He didn't have enough time to move out of the way, and her blade caught him on the shoulder. She felt the impact of the blade as it reverberated up to the handle. It gave her great satisfaction to see the surprise on his face as she came at him again, this time, catching him across the midsection.

"This will be easier if you just let me go," she said.

Something in his face changed and he stared at her with a look she had only ever seen him give an enemy. Suddenly, she knew: this was what she'd been training for. A chance to make him hurt the way she'd been hurt.

* * *

><p>Squall couldn't believe the woman before him was the same girl he'd loved. Holy mother of Hyne. What had Seifer done? As he defended himself against a flurry of spiraling slices delivered with perfect execution, he could only wonder at how hard she must have worked to become so skilled. Though Squall was strong, she was fast, and he was having a difficult time defending himself against her attacks. He was forced to suffer a few hits, as he couldn't keep up with the lightning quick barrage of attacks. This was not the product of a few light lessons, but of extreme and intensive training. She knew exactly what she was doing.<p>

Had he not been convinced she intended him serious harm, he might have taken a moment to appreciate the art of what she was doing. Every movement seemed choreographed, as though she'd been taught to dance with the weapon, not merely wield it. There was a certain genius behind each spinning strike, and the grace of her movements was impressive. Certainly, she hadn't learned this from Seifer. His philosophy on handling a blade fell into the hack and slash category, championing brute strength over actual skill. Rinoa had skill, but there was also a surprising amount of strength behind each blow. Whatever they had been to one another before, she wasn't messing around now.

The katana tore through his left side, and he felt the instant warmth of blood against his skin. The other wounds she'd inflicted had been superficial, but this one felt nasty. Not life threatening, but sure to leave a scar.

Through the whole thing, Squall had yet to strike her back. He couldn't bring himself to do it, and he didn't want to make the mistake of mortally wounding her without meaning to. It went against his very nature to attack a woman he loved, even if she was someone he no longer knew and someone who meant to inflict as much damage upon him as she could. Whether this was a remnant of the bond they'd shared, a holdover from his days as her Knight, or simply out of love, he couldn't say. He just knew he couldn't inflict any more pain on her and be able to live with himself. His strategy now was to wear her out, then take her down with as little force as possible. That was, if she didn't wear him out first and actually kill him.

"Fight back, Squall."

This time, her blade nicked his chin, and something in him snapped. He came at her with a hard down stroke, his blade crashing against hers with all his might.

"That's more like it, baby," she purred.

Pushing aside his need to protect her, he fought, giving as good as he got. To his intense surprise, he found they were fairly evenly matched. She was as good at defending herself as she was at striking back. Seifer, to his credit, had trained her well. As they traded blow for blow, wounding and wearing each other down, Squall realized she was the best adversary he'd faced in a very long time.

Was this the result of his moment of madness? Had she done this to herself because of him? Or was she like an abandoned house cat, left outdoors too long and gone feral? He thought of her, bleeding on the floor of his apartment and the way she'd looked at him. She hadn't defended herself then. Why now?

In that instant, Rinoa let out a shriek and pressed a hand to her scar, her eyes shut tight in apparent agony. She dropped her blade and sat down on the floor, clutching her head as though she'd been mortally wounded. All the fight went out of Squall, and he dropped to his knees in front of her, horror struck at the idea that he might have done it again. Gingerly, he pushed aside her bangs and saw no injury, only his old handiwork. At the sight of the scar, he felt a rush of deep shame at his actions. Here he was, fighting her, wounding her, giving her even more reason to hate him.

"Rinoa?"

She let out a long hissing breath through clenched teeth and suddenly got up, turning toward the broken window. Squall, acting on instinct alone, knowing that he could not let her go, tackled her low around the thighs and threw her to the floor. She rebounded from his attack in an instant, and as he crouched over her, she threw a hard cross with her left hand that hit him square in the jaw, followed by an uppercut that nearly knocked him senseless. He bit down involuntarily on his tongue and tasted blood.

Stunned, he slumped over her, trying to gain his bearings. One of her hands seized a fist full of his hair and she twisted beneath him, trying her hardest to throw him off.

Once back in control of his senses, he used the advantage of his strength and weight to grab hold of her wrists and pin them from the floor. He held them there as she continued to struggle, until finally, she gave up and lay beneath him, seemingly defeated. Squall didn't trust that she was done, but he relaxed just a bit as he stared down into her face.

For several long seconds, their eyes locked. The girl now looking back at him was not the feral wildcat he'd just encountered but there was still hardness to her expression. In spite of that, he could see the girl he'd known and loved just beneath the surface. That girl was still in there, somewhere, and Squall resolved to find her.

Having her so close after so long, even in these circumstances, was a relief, but her proximity made him breathless with the emotion of unexpressed sorrow for everything they'd lost. Here she was, so very close, and seemingly docile for the moment, yet he couldn't even manage to speak the apology he'd so badly needed to give her. With that apology would come the weak explanation of why it happened, and for him, there were no adequate words to express what he had done, and what it had done to him. Everything that came to mind was inadequate, inappropriate or sounded childish.

For the first time since she'd left him, Squall felt his emotions with clarity. He'd buried it all under work and monotony and distractions, allowing himself to feel only the guilt. Now, he felt so much more than that. Shame and guilt, yes, but also compassion and most of all, fierce, protective love for this woman who had just shown there was more to her than he'd ever believed possible. He didn't even care that she'd fought and wounded him, he just wanted to look at her and hold onto her and keep her safe.

In that instant, as she looked up at him, her eyes challenging him to act, Squall knew that the bond between them had never broken. Even if she didn't yet know it, it was there, and he could feel it binding them together as though it had never been tested.

It took everything he had in him to refrain from crushing his lips against hers. A part of him knew that might be all it took to change the path they were on, to make her feel how connected they still were, but he held back. He knew it might be the very thing that gave her an advantage. This incarnation of Rinoa was more than likely to use it and maybe finish him off in the process. He didn't want to take that chance.

Hyne, she still smelled the same. He detected, under the sweat and the smell of leather, a hint of vanilla and lavender. The scent was intoxicating and he felt himself grow weak with the need to belong to her again. Too many times, he'd woken up with the ghost of that scent in his room, as if her specter had visited while he slept, leaving behind only the faintest of traces that she'd been there.

Unable to help himself, he leaned down and brushed the tip of his nose down the side of her neck, to her collarbone, breathing her in. It was so familiar, like coming home again after a long absence to the comfort of what he knew. Beneath him, she closed her eyes and her chin tilted toward the ceiling as his lips brushed against her jaw. Her gasp nearly undid him, and he knew he was going to have to get control of himself, or else he was going to wind up doing something very stupid, and possibly dead.

He pulled back and let out an explosive breath as he fought for composure. Her amused smile offered a challenge, as if daring him to do more. Then, he understood the reason for her humored expression. No doubt, she could feel his arousal against her, giving away the fact that he wasn't immune to lust. A hot blush spread across his skin, flushing his cheeks and neck as he shifted his weight to make it less obvious.

Her throaty chuckle was amused, but cruel.

"I never knew fighting me would be such a turn on for you," she said. "But you never change, do you? Still completely in control at all times."

Squall blushed even deeper and looked away from her mocking eyes. It wasn't the fighting that turned him on. It was just her. Her smell, her eyes, her face. The memory of how she'd felt in his arms, her bare skin against his. The way she was looking at him now, daring him to find some guts and go for it.

"It's so cute when you blush," she teased.

"Stop it," he said without conviction.

"Or what?" she asked. "You'll finally grow a set and so something besides blush like a twelve year old caught with a dirty magazine? You've got me, so either kill me or let me go, but for Hyne's sake, do something."

"I never wanted to kill you."

"You have a funny way of showing it."

The bitterness in her eyes made him want to cradle her in his arms and beg for her forgiveness. All he needed was a chance to talk to her. Now was not the time or place, and every phrase he wanted to speak died on his tongue before he could say a word.

But first, he had to get her to cooperate, and get her out of here. If he let her up, she'd make a bid for freedom and he'd have to take drastic measures to subdue her. Trying to convince her was pointless. So, he did the only thing he could think of:

He kissed her.

It was a risk, but a calculated one. He let go of one of her wrists and pulled her arm up around the back of his neck, kissing her deeper. With his hand now free, he reached for a tranquilizer, uncapped it and plunged the syringe into the meat of her shoulder. In retaliation, she bit down hard on his lip and began to thrash about beneath him, once more trying to thrown him off. Squall tried in vain to recapture the arm he'd freed and was rewarded with a fist to the nose, not once, but twice. The first was nicely executed, but the second was a sucker punch, delivered with the sole purpose of maximizing the pain.

All he could see were stars, and he tasted blood as it rolled down the back of his throat. He could feel it coursing over his swelling lip and down his chin. Beneath him, the feisty Sorceress was starting to wind down under the influence of the drug. Squall recaptured her wrist, holding on tight until he was sure she was nearly unconscious.

"I didn't think you had it in you, Leonhart," she mused groggily.

Her head lolled to the side and she favored him with a sweet smile reminiscent of the old days. There wasn't a trace of cruelty or bitterness in it, just gentle contentment. He'd so desperately missed that smile that it made him want to kiss her again, this time in earnest. If not for the steady flow of blood down his face or the fact that she'd bitten him, he might have.

As her eyes closed, he cast Cura to stop his injuries from bleeding, checked Rinoa over to make sure none of her injuries were life threatening, then radioed Quistis.

"Status, Trepe," he said.

_"Seifer's in custody. He came willingly, if you can believe it. Says he needs to talk to you."_

"Whatever," Squall said. "I'll deal with him later."

_"What's the word on your end?"_

"I got her. I'm bringing her back to Garden."

_"Wouldn't it be more prudent to turn them both over to Caraway? It's in his contract."_

"Screw him," Squall said. "What's the status on the mission?"

_"It looks good,_" Quistis said. _"Galbadian troops are starting to withdraw, though I'm seeing a few pockets of action here and there around the city. Another half hour and I believe it'll be over."_

"And the cadets?"

_"Most of them did well, a few exceptional. I'll show you the highlight reel later,_" Quistis joked.

"I'll be waiting with bated breath," he deadpanned.

_"You need a ride back to the landing site?"_ she asked. _"I'm about a block away._"

"I'll meet you downstairs. Give Selphie the order to withdraw."

_"Roger."_

Squall wiped the blood from his lips and chin, and let out a heavy sigh. He checked to make sure Rinoa was out, then snapped a set of handcuffs around her wrists for good measure and hoisted her up over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. She was a lot heavier than he remembered. Maybe it was the extra equipment she wore, or just the extra muscle mass, or maybe it was Squall's own weariness, but he remembered her being much lighter than this.

She was going to be pissed when she came out of it, but Squall was certain of one thing:

They were not done. Not even close.

* * *

><p>AN:

Squinoa fans…this one's for you.

A big thank you to my reviewers, Niqsta, Allesia Heartilly, Aiur, Lecritic, Loupiotte84, Kim, and double thanks to PodSara for the beta read and ultrafast turnaround time. (I'm organizing a riot if you don't come back and finish HNR, lady. I mean it. And, I will withhold future beta rights to boot.)

I was going to hold off on posting this today, however, I will be pretty busy the next 4-5 days and won't have another opportunity till sometime next week, later than rather than sooner.


	8. White Flags

**The Path of the Feather**

* * *

><p>Chapter 8<p>

White Flags

* * *

><p><em>They call it a gift, but it isn't. Knowing the secrets of those around me is a burden. There are things about them that I am better off not knowing, but sometimes I can't stop it, no matter how hard I try. I know all those things about themselves that they never tell anyone. I know about the good and the bad. I know what drives them, what they fear most, the ways they've hurt one another, and all the ways that they've been hurt. <em>

_I could have told Rinoa the truth about what happened with Squall, but this is something she must learn for herself. It isn't my place, and though I love Squall like my own blood, I can't change what has happened and what might happen. Experience has taught me that much. I can not change the past, or the future. All I can do is keep an eye on them, advise them, and hope for the best. _

_If I could change their fate, I would, you know. No matter what distance or wrong between them, Squall and Rinoa were always meant for each other. It hurts my heart to know that they can't be together, and that their destinies may take them in opposite directions in the future. The bond is still strong between them, but that bond could be what destroys them. Until this is over, there can be no happy ending for them. This, I know for certain._

_What can I say, but that I alone know how all the pieces fit together? I do not know the future, and I never have, but I've become quite adept at seeing the big picture. There are so many forces at work here, and every player has a role. Even me. What may be coming is complicated. I can not say who will play the villain this time with any degree of certainty. It could be any one of them, or none of them. It depends on how willing they are to put aside their grudges and hurts so that they might work together. It also depends on Rinoa. Her choices now will be the most important ones, for it's likely that her decisions will be the key to how this plays out in the end. _

_If she makes the wrong ones, Hyne help her._

_Hyne help us all._

* * *

><p>Back at the landing site, Quistis drove her vehicle into the bay of the transport vessel and put it in park, letting it idle for a moment. Beside her Squall sat with the unconscious Rinoa in his lap, cradling her against his chest. From the corner of her eye, she took note of the blood drying on his face, the swelling of his nose and mouth and all the other various cuts, scrapes, bruises and bloodstains. He hadn't looked this bad after returning from Time Compression, and she had to wonder, what the hell happened? Surely, Rinoa wasn't responsible for this. It didn't seem possible that Rinoa would have the will or the ability to cause that much damage, no matter what had happened between them in the past.<p>

The sleeping woman sported a few injuries of her own, though none as obvious as the taciturn commander's. There was a deep cut on the back of her elbow that appeared to have bits of glass in it, and a handful of other wounds, but none of them life threatening. Other than the fact that she was unconscious, she looked perfectly fine, if not a tad banged up.

Squall, on the other hand, looked like he'd spent the night in hell. His complexion was sallow and his hands shook as he reached for the door handle. Whatever had happened in there seemed to have shaken him up, and she'd never quite see the young commander this rattled before.

What must it have been like to find an adversary in someone he'd loved so much? Quistis wasn't sure, but she likened it to learning that their beloved Matron was the Sorceress responsible for starting the war, multiplied by a thousand. Her own affection for Edea had been nothing compared to what she'd seen grow between Squall and Rinoa. Those two had been nearly inseparable, and they had been right up until the day Rinoa had left. Quistis could only imagine what Squall was feeling right now, but she knew there was at least a small part of him that hoped for a chance to make amends for whatever it was that made him look so guilty when anybody mentioned her name.

"Are you all right?" Quistis asked, even though she knew how he'd answer.

"Fine."

"You should probably see a medic."

He waved her off and climbed out of the vehicle, lifting Rinoa into his arms with great care. As Quistis shut the engine off, she saw two familiar figures standing near the door to the upper levels. Neither had changed much since the last time Quistis had seen them, but she'd noticed Fujin had grown her hair longer and Rajin looked bigger than he did in her memory.

"SEIFER?"

"He's fine," Quistis assured her. "But we're taking him back to Balamb."

"Fujin was just wondering, ya know? If we could maybe come along. We go wherever Seifer goes, ya know? Unless he orders us to do something else, and then we do that, but he didn't give us no orders this time, so-"

Fujin scowled and kicked Rajin in the shin. Rajin groaned and clutched at his injury in apparent pain. Well, at least some things never changed. Quistis was still coming to terms with this new Rinoa and a Seifer that went down without a fight.

"BALAMB."

Quistis looked to Squall, who just shrugged and adjusted the unconscious girl in his arms.

"I suppose so, if you're all right with being charged as accessories."

"AFIRMATIVE."

"Okay," Quistis said doubtfully. "If that's what you really want."

Fujin gave a curt nod and turned her eye to Rinoa. Something flared in her expression as she spied the blood. She moved forward, placing her hands on her hips and she glared up at Squall with a murderous expression.

"RAGE!"

"Just a tranquilizer," Squall assured her. "She'll wake up in another hour or so."

Fujin reached out and brushed the hair out of Rinoa's face, peering down at it with the most curious expression. If Quistis wasn't mistaken, it appeared that Fujin was _concerned_ about Rinoa. Suddenly, Quistis felt as if everything had changed. Had she gone to bed in Balamb last night and woken up in some alternate reality where people's personalities were the exact opposite of who they were? She was starting to wonder.

When Fujin caught both Squall and Quistis staring at her, she stepped back and looked at Squall.

"FAMILY."

"Fooge's saying, Rinoa's part of our posse now, so she's like, our sister or something," Rajin supplied. "It's bugging her to see Rinoa all messed up like that."

"Oh," Quistis said, bewildered by Fujin's behavior and Rajin's explanation. "Well, let's get her upstairs, and you can look her over, Fujin. We've got plenty of potions and first aid supplies if you need them."

Fujin gave her a curt nod and headed up the stairs, dragging Rajin along with her. No doubt, she already knew where the vessel's disciplinary room was, having once been a key enforcer of discipline at Garden, if only in an unofficial, thuggish type capacity.

Quistis and Squall exchanged looks.

"Never in my life have I seen her act that way."

Squall just shrugged and turned sideways so that he could carry the sleeping Sorceress up the narrow stairs.

"Well," Quistis murmured to herself, "at least one of is still in character."

* * *

><p>Seifer sat on a bench in the vessel's disciplinary room, chained hand and foot to the wall behind him. Though there was sufficient play for him to stand if he wished, there wasn't enough to take a swing at anyone. Not that he planned on it, but he was bored enough that he'd tested it out. Now, he sat, twiddling his thumbs and making threatening faces at the young SeeD at the door. Seifer figured only crazy people actually twiddled their thumbs, and he had to be crazy to voluntarily turn himself in.<p>

_You better be right about this, Sis. _

Predictably, she gave no answer.

Seifer had known that Elle kept tabs on them all from time to time, but he'd never guessed she'd been watching that closely. Usually, she only made her presence known if the situation was dire. Otherwise, she used the phone like a normal person. But Seifer trusted her enough that he'd taken her advice, if only because he'd been in a scenario he didn't have a bikini's chance in Trabia of getting out of alive, without being maimed or killed.

Now, he could only hope Rinoa had made it out safely, though he knew she hadn't escaped. Quistis had taken great pleasure in informing him that Rinoa was in custody. He felt guilty about getting caught and not being there to back her up when she needed it. As a result, she'd been caught, by Leonhart, no less. Seifer was sure that had been an ugly confrontation. Rinoa had done an amazing job transforming herself, but she was no match for Squall. She had the advantage of speed on her side, but he was strong, and one well-placed hit would have easily taken her down. All he could do now was pray that Rinoa was all right.

"Will you stop doing that?" the cowboy sitting across the room asked.

What was his name? Ivy? Ervin? Seifer couldn't remember. He was a kid from the orphanage though. Seifer remembered that much. He'd liked to play war with Selphie and fancied himself as a ladies man when he was a teenager.

"What?"

"The thumb thing. It's weird."

The cowboy adjusted the shotgun lying casually across his lap and pulled his hat low over his eyes.

"Does it bother you?"

Irvine. Irvine Kinneas. That was his name. The cowboy shrugged and leaned back in his seat, propping an ankle up on his knee, giving Seifer an appraising look.

"The only people I've actually ever seen do that are completely bug-shit crazy, or three years old." Irvine said. "I know you're not three, and I know you're not nuts, so you're either doing it to be annoying or you want us to think you're crazy."

Seifer let out a low whistle.

"Insightful analysis, Dr. Love," Seifer said. "How much do I owe you?"

"Mock me all you want, Almasy. I'm an expert on human nature," Kinneas said. "Years of studying targets and people watching will do that to you."

"Impressive," Seifer said drily.

"You, for instance," Kinneas said. "As a child you acted out in violent and inappropriate ways to get attention because the alternative was to be ignored. This taught you that the only way anyone would notice you was to act like in insensitive, violent jerk. Deep down, you're insecure, so you hide behind an abrasive persona to make people think you're tough. On a physical level, you're a nightmare, but emotionally, you're a trainwreck. You use sarcasm to the extreme so that people think you're witty and intelligent, which you are, but you also use it to mask the fact that you're bitter. This has the opposite effect because we all know you are. You've cast yourself as the villain in your own mind, therefore you act out in ways that actually do make you the villain, thus causing you to hate yourself even more. Even though, at heart, you're not a bad guy."

Seifer was floored. He sat there, mouth open and unable to reply to Irvine's disturbingly accurate assessment of his psyche. He would never admit to any of it, but Kinneas was pretty spot on in his analysis.

"Every now and then, you show a glimmer of decency, like turning yourself in today, and that means there's still hope for you," Kinneas continued. "I don't know much about it, and I don't pretend to understand it, but I know that when Rinoa left, she went to you and you were decent enough to take her in, which means you're capable of kindness. I suspect you're even capable of compassion, though never in public and never in front of someone who's not part of your posse. All in all, I'd say you're a complicated guy who hides his true self behind a wall of bravado and has the potential to do great things if he'd ever stop thinking of himself as a lowlife."

Seifer sat back, staring at the cowboy, unsettled by his perception. There was only one thing he disagreed with.

"I'm not bitter."

Kinneas laughed and shook his head.

"You keep telling yourself that, buddy."

Seifer had to wonder what Kinneas' take on Squall's malfunctions, but he didn't ask. Truthfully, he didn't need to know what made his nemesis tick, though he suspected he already knew.

"MOVE," Fujin's voice barked at the doorway. She stood there glaring at the young SeeD who'd been guarding the door. He moved out of the way to let her in and Seifer got to his feet.

"What the hell, Fuj?" Seifer asked. "You were supposed to stay clear of the city. How did you get caught?"

"SURRENDER."

"Yo, we surrendered to come find you, ya know?" Rajin said from behind her.

"Of all the stupid, idiotic things you could have done-"

Seifer's breath caught in his throat as Quistis entered the room, followed by Squall carrying an unconscious and slightly battered Rinoa. She was all he could focus on. Though he could see a few minor injuries, she looked in fair condition, so he was glad for that. The worrisome part was her unconsciousness.

"What the hell did you do to her, Leonhart?" Seifer railed. "It wasn't enough to bounce her off the walls and split her face open the first time? You had come back and finish the job?"

Seifer saw Irvine and Quistis exchange a worried glance at his accusation, but he was too concerned about Rinoa to care or to use it to unnerve the commander. He watched as Squall lay her down on one of the benches and gingerly fasten cuffs around her ankles.

"It's just a tranquilizer, ya know?" Rajin informed him. "She's just asleep."

Seifer relaxed minutely until he took a good look at Squall's face. There was blood caked around his nostrils and on his chin. His nose and lip were swollen and it looked like he had a black eye. Seifer also spotted all the scrapes, bruises, cuts and what looked like a pretty nasty wound in his side and another shallower one on his chest.

"Rough day at the office, boss?" Kinneas asked Squall. "You look like a ruby dragon decided to use you as a chew toy."

Something dawned on Seifer then, and he couldn't help himself. He started to laugh. It was just a chuckle at first, but in seconds, it became a full on belly laugh that had everyone in the room staring at him in bewilderment. He couldn't help it.

"Hell, Almasy, it wasn't that funny," Kinneas remarked.

That only made Seifer laugh harder.

"Mind sharing?" Quistis asked.

Seifer debated whether or not he should tell the truth, and then decided it would be worth it.

"For two years, I've been plotting ways to get back at you for what you did to her," Seifer said to Squall. "It never occurred to me that she'd want to do it herself. I knew she was pissed, but, _damn_. She let you have it, didn't she?"

"Whoa, wait," Irvine cut in. "Rinoa did this?"

Seifer grinned, practically glowing with pride. She proved time and time again that she was not to be underestimated. No doubt, Squall had underestimated her, and had gotten the crap kicked out of him. It made Seifer want to give her a great big hug and a bottle of whiskey.

"You ruined her," Squall said softly.

"No, Squall. _You_ ruined her," Seifer said. "I put her back together."

Squall turned on his heel and stalked from the room without another word.

There was a stunned silence as they all looked at one another and then back to Seifer, the SeeDs clearly expecting some kind of explanation.

"He never told anyone what happened that night," Quistis said, "but I can't imagine he'd hurt her, Seifer. He worshiped the ground she walked on."

"Wait," Irvine said. "Seifer, start from the beginning."

"Don't know if it's my business to tell you if you don't already know," Seifer said.

"Cut the crap. You're dying to spill it," Quistis said.

Seifer chuckled and sat back down, looking over at Rinoa, who was still sound asleep. He grew serious at the memory of her battered face and bruised skin.

"I don't know much more about what happened than you guys do," Seifer admitted. "But I saw the aftermath."

"Go on," Irvine urged.

"We had lunch in Balamb that day," he began. "We'd come to a sort of truce and were trying to be friends again, but I had decided to go to Trabia for a while, so it was sort of a farewell lunch. I got on the train afterwards and arrived in Trabia the next evening. Rinoa showed up on my doorstep the next morning…."

Seifer told them everything he remembered, about the terrible gash in her forehead, the broken fingernails, the bruises, and her refusal to speak of it. He told him about how she'd asked him to help her learn to fight, and how that had led to where she was now. He left out the part where he suspected she was trying to be anyone but who she really was, and the part about his dreams that lead to the four of them pulling off daring heists in high security locations. That part could wait.

"I don't believe it," Quistis insisted. "Squall would never-"

"Fujin," Seifer said. "Show them."

Carefully, Fujin pushed aside Rinoa's bangs and revealed them the scar beneath. Quistis gasped and put her hand over her mouth, while Irvine just shook his head in sympathy.

"Your fearless leader did that," Seifer said softly. "Can you blame her for wanting a little revenge?"

Fujin lifted Rinoa's head and put it in her lap. Then she began to stroke Rinoa's hair back into place to cover the scar. Seifer never got used to the idea of Fujin acting motherly. So long as Fujin wasn't directing her mothering at Seifer, he supposed he was okay with it. Rinoa needed it more than he did.

"Explains a lot," Irvine remarked as he settled back against the seat again. "And it explains nothing."

Seifer cocked his head at the cowboy and gestured for him to continue.

"Those two were madly, deeply in love," Irvine said. "I really thought there was nothing in this world that could separate them after everything we went through. One day, she was here, all starry eyed and the next she was gone. I figured they had a fight and she took off to punish him, but she never came back. Squall attacking her explains why she wouldn't, but I don't get how or why that happened. He was crazy about her, Seifer. I mean, totally, completely, worshipfully in love. What could be so bad that he'd hurt her over it?"

Seifer shrugged.

"I've been wondering that for two years," Seifer said. "Rinoa won't talk about it. Any time I tried to pry it out of her, she shut down. But, I wasn't lying when I said he ruined her. Whatever happened, it wrecked her. So, whoever you're expecting to see when she wakes up, just know it won't be the girl you remember."

* * *

><p>Rinoa came out of her drug induced sleep fighting. She bolted upright, her fists raised to do battle, only to find them cuffed together. In panic she fought the restraints until she felt a gentle hand on her back and she focused on the room around her.<p>

"CALM."

She looked up and Fujin, perplexed by her new surroundings, but that was enough to keep her from going into an aggressive battle against her chains. She let out a breath, feeling nauseous and leaned her head against Fujin's leg again. Fujin's hand began to stroke her hair, just like her mother had done when Rinoa was little. For the moment, she didn't much care where she was. Her head was foggy, and she was having trouble remembering where she was or how she'd got here.

"Hey there, beautiful," a familiar voice said. "Long time, no see."

In surprise, Rinoa looked up and saw a face from her past.

"Irvine?" she croaked.

"The one and only," he said with a cheeky grin. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I might throw up," she said honestly.

"Tranquilizers will do that to you," he agreed. "Just relax. It passes."

What was the last thing Rinoa remembered? Fighting Squall. His mouth on hers. Combating forces of rage and lust. The taste of his blood on her lips.

Shit. If she was here, that meant she'd failed.

Seifer must have seen her expression because he said, "Don't worry about it, Rin. You did good."

She wasn't sure what he meant by that, since they were both locked up inside a SeeD vessel with no hope of continuing their mission. Not only were they captives, but all the things she'd risked herself for were back in Trabia, along with her mother's music.

"Trust me," he said.

"Why did you surrender?" she asked.

"Plan B," he said cryptically.

Rinoa reached for her pocket, feeling for the stone. It was still there. Well, at least she still had that, though for how long, she wasn't sure. Upon arrival at Balamb Garden, no doubt she'd be searched and everything on her person would be seized. Including the stone.

"_Trust me_," Seifer said again.

Rinoa relaxed against Fujin's shoulder. The older girl stroked Rinoa's cheek and glared accusingly at Seifer, as though she blamed him for their predicament. For all she knew, he was. He'd surrendered, after all. Instead of coming to help her, he'd surrendered. If not for that, they could he halfway to Deling City by now, and not captives.

"By the way, you messed Leonhart up pretty good," Seifer said.

"That's because half the time, he didn't fight back," Rinoa said bitterly. "The coward."

"Mind if I interject?" Irvine asked.

Rinoa shrugged, not really wanting to hear it. No doubt, Irvine would inevitably side with Squall. All of them would.

"I don't really know what happened between you, but he's still in love with you. In fact," Irvine said, "he never stopped loving you. Can you blame him for not wanting to cause you any more pain?"

Rinoa let out a humorless laugh. Irvine didn't know the first thing about how Squall showed his love. While the attack that had driven her away may not have been completely his doing, the fact that he'd never bothered to come find her or contact her spoke volumes about how he felt. All the others had sent her e-mail after e-mail asking if she was okay. There wasn't a single one from him. Not one.

"Don't go there, cowboy," Seifer warned. "Dangerous territory."

Irvine conceded with a tip of his hat.

"Just food for thought, that's all."

Fujin seized Rinoa's elbow and looked at it critically.

"HURT."

Rinoa glanced down and noticed a gash in the skin there, in which bits of glass were embedded. She hadn't even noticed until now. Two years of allowing herself to be beaten up, of fighting to the point of exhaustion had rendered her mostly immune to lesser injuries. If this was the worst she'd gotten out of it, she considered herself lucky.

She wondered what it would have been like if Squall had fought back in earnest. She probably wouldn't be here now, alive and mostly unharmed. He could have ended her so easily if he'd wanted to. But, that was just it, wasn't it? He hadn't wanted to.

She thought of the way he'd kissed her at the end, of the way he seemed so turned on by the brutality of it all. What really bothered her was the knowledge that it had affected her so deeply that she might have given in if he'd actually had the guts to take it further. But the kiss was just a ploy to distract her. It hadn't been given in love. Somehow, he'd known how that some small part of her missed those days of innocence and had used it against her.

Damn him. He'd known just how to hurt her the most.

Never again, she swore to herself. Never. Next time, if there was a next time, she'd bite back all the sentiment and do what had to be done. If it meant she would have to kill him, so be it. Dealing with that would be so much easier than what she was feeling now, and all the feeling she might be forced to confront in the coming days.

* * *

><p>Irvine eventually went off in search of Squall, feeling as though he needed to give his friend the opportunity to defend himself. After all, Seifer's comments were damaging, especially the one about bouncing Rinoa off the walls. Though it was hard to imagine Squall ever trying to hurt Rinoa, it was clear something had happened, and it had been violent. The evidence was too much to refute.<p>

Still, Irvine didn't believe Squall had done it without reason. What that reason was, he couldn't fathom.

He found the commander on the observation deck, alone. Squall leaned heavily against the rails with his face in his hands. If Irvine wasn't mistaken, Squall was crying. It was completely out of character for his stoic friend, but under the circumstances, Irvine couldn't and wouldn't judge him for it. Squall was a complicated guy. A guy who others looked up to as strong, fearless and largely unemotional in the face of adversity, but that didn't mean Squall had no feelings. It was quite the opposite, and Irvine had been the first of the crew to understand that Squall was deeply emotional, he just didn't show it.

"She's going to be fine," Irvine said as he stepped up to the railing. "She's awake and acting a hell of a lot like you."

Squall nodded and stared out at the ocean, making no attempt to hide the tear stains on his cheeks. Either he simply didn't care, or he secretly wanted Irvine to know he was dealing with some pretty heavy emotions without having to say it.

No doubt, a confrontation between them had taken a huge emotional toll on Squall. No matter what may have happened in the past, Squall had never stopped loving her. That much was clear.

"So, you two fought?"

"We fought."

"Let me guess: she hacked you up out of revenge and you let her."

"At first I just let her have at me," Squall admitted. "But, I didn't have a choice about fighting back. If I hadn't, she might have killed me."

"She wouldn't have killed you," Irvine disagreed. "Seriously wounded you and left you for dead maybe, but I don't think she would have killed you."

Squall gave him a harassed sidelong glance and pushed a hand through his hair. He was silent for a long time, and Irvine waited patiently while Squall sorted through his thoughts. If Squall wasn't in the mood to talk, he would have simply left and found some other corner to brood in, all by himself. The fact that he was still here meant that he needed company, and maybe, to unburden himself.

"He trained her well," Squall said. "For every hit I made, she landed two. I had a really hard time defending myself against her."

"You?"

"Yeah," Squall said. "It was…unbelievable. She's so fast. So strong. I don't even want to think about what kind of hell she put herself through to be able to fight like that."

Irvine thought about that. Rinoa, in a word, was stubborn. If she wanted something, she wanted it, and there was no changing her mind once she'd made it up to do something. If she was a good as Squall said she was, it was because she'd wanted it badly enough to endure whatever kind of misery her training would entail. The question was, why? Was it out of revenge? Or was there more to it?

"Seifer showed us the scar," Irvine said.

Squall dropped his head against his forearms, and his guilt was apparent in the defeated slump of his shoulders. So, it was true. He had attacked her.

"I don't have to understand what happened," Irvine said. "I just need to know that it wasn't intentional."

"It wasn't," Squall said defensively. "You should know that."

"I do," Irvine agreed. "But I take it, she doesn't?"

Squall shook his head.

"I never had a chance to."

"Tell me you at least sent her an e-mail."

"_Sorry I tried to kill you_ isn't something you can put in an e-mail."

"It worked for Seifer. She forgave him."

"Seifer," Squall spat bitterly. "I'd like to have a go at him for fucking her up the way he did."

"She asked him to do it, you know," Irvine said. "It was her choice, and if you want my opinion, more power to her. You know how much she hated feeling weak."

"Whatever."

Irvine stepped up on the rail and looked over at the vessel's wake, watching the water churning below. He could feel the spray of salt water against his face and understood why Squall had come up here. Something about the sea was calming.

"Look, you know I'm pretty good at reading people," Irvine said. "Rinoa's trying really hard to be tough, but underneath it all, I think she really wants to understand your side of it, but she's not going to make it easy."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"The bright side is, I don't think she ever stopped loving you," Irvine said. "She may pretend she doesn't, and she might be convincing, but the way I see it, she's just imitating you, and doing a damned fine job of it. She's got you, right down to the _whatever_ and the indifferent shrug."

"I don't think this is something I can fix," Squall said. "I nearly killed her, if you want the truth. She has no reason to forgive me."

It was one thing for Seifer to imply Squall had brought harm to Rinoa, it was another to hear it out loud, from Squall's own mouth. Irvine rubbed his eyes and cast his friend a sideways glance as he contemplated what might have led to the incident.

"Give it a shot anyway," Irvine suggested. "You might be surprised."

"And if she doesn't?"

"Then you're no worse off than you are now."

Squall was silent for a long moment. He righted himself, ran a gloved hand through his hair and murmured, so softly Irvine could barely hear it:

"You're wrong about that, my friend. So very, very wrong."

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry for the delay in updating. Life happens, as always. Hopefully, I'll be able to update more regularly now that I won't have any more travel commitments for the year. I've been gone more often than I've been home-was starting to feel like I lived at a hotel! Anyway, hoping to post a chapter a week from here on out, as well as update the two others I'm working on when I can. Enjoy, read, review...


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